Spanks - 3
Director - Stephen Sommers
Writer - Stuart Beattie, David Elliot & Paul Lovett
Starring - Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Christopher Eccleston, Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Release Date - 7 August 09
MPAA Rating - PG-13
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has been getting a lot of bad press since it was released on August 7th. Truthfully, I went expecting nothing out of it, as should have all the other critics. It will never win any kind of award and I don't believe the filmmakers were going for an Academy Award for Best Picture. The film is exactly what it should have been. It was a summer popcorn movie that was so bad that it was awesome!
The film is an origin story, but unlike most films, its the origin of the villian, Cobra Commander. The G.I. Joe's have been saving the world with all their ultra high tech toys for years. It shows the Joe's from the point of view of two new recruts, Duke and Ripcord. Duke and Ripcord started in the U.S. Army, were ordered to deliver four brand new warheads to NATO. Warheads that can quickly destroy an entire city. The convoy gets ambushed and the warheads get stolen by the Baroness before the Joe's arrive. General Hawk recruits Duke and Ripcord to help find the Baroness and the four warheads before cities get leveled and millions of people die.
The film is very predictable. The special effects are average. The weapons are ridiculous. The accelerator suits being an example, but the action sequence they were used in was cool. The dialog is cheesy (deliberate?). It is overacted (deliberate?). The girls are super hot (of course!). All these factors make for a summer movie that is nothing more than great fun. If you go expecting Citizen Kane you are going to be greatly disappointed. If you go expecting a film based on a doll/action figure/toy (whatever you consider a G.I. Joe) who fights an evil organization called Cobra who just wants to control the world you will probably have a good time.