2012

Spanks - 3

Director - Roland Emmerich

Writer - Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser

Starring - John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton & Oliver Platt

Release Date - 13 November 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13


Roland Emmerich's latest disaster film, 2012, is full of plot holes, bad dialog, impossible situations, and some out of order editing; but damn is it a fun movie! Instead of giant flying saucers, a nuclear mutated lizard, or an ice age the cause or the disaster is solar flares and shifting in the Earth's tectonic plates.

The film has the luckiest character ever created in Hollywood. John Cusack plays a poor divorced writer/limo driver who survives earthquakes, fires, and any "red shirt" doesn't; not once, or twice. I lost count half way through. Each time it gets more comical (I don't think that was the filmmakers intent). I am not going to say how, but some will entertain you and others will just make you want to jump ship. The dialog is equally as comical. With Cusack saying things like "When they tell you not to panic... that's when you run!" or his son says "Woah, big plane." and the Russian billionaire who owns it replys "It's Russian." The entire two and a half hour movie is written in this manner.

The film is all about showing off computer special effects technology. Most of the movie is CGI and the filmmakers have even said that it is more of an animated film because of how much isn't real. The effects do look better (and more real) then they did in the trailers but like the Star Wars prequel trilogy they just showed off and made it way to busy. Because of this, it takes away the realness of the disaster and destruction. All the modern digital special effects in the world will never beat the simple but very awesome destruction created with practical effects in Independence Day.

The only reason to watch this film is because you like disaster movies. That is the best part of the movie. The only way to watch it is in a theater or on a big HDTV with a kick ass home theater system. Any other way would be pointless.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Spanks - 4

Director - Grant Heslov

Writer - Peter Straughan and Jon Ronson

Starring - George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey & Stephen Lang

Release Date - 6 November 09

MPAA Rating - R

The Men Who Stare at Goats is inspired by the top secret true story of the United States military and its attempts to use psychic powers in a group of soldiers as told in the book by Jon Ronson.

The film follows reporter Bob Wilton, who meets Lyn Cassady in Kuwait. Bob knows about Lyn's involvement as a psychic spy from one of his previous articles After the two men meet, Lyn invites him to write a story about his new mission, that brought him out of retirement, in Iraq. The film also tells about the creation of the New Earth Army that Lyn was an original member of.

The humor in the movie is very dark and weird. It is definitely not your typical comedy. It is funny, but only if you are interested in off beat comedy. Jeff Bridge's Bill Django character is his funniest since The Dude. George Clooney can play a wacko and should continue to stick with these kind of roles and refrain from playing the action hero.