Spanky's Movie Review's

A New Beginning

2012-01-19T11:40:00.000-05:00

Spanky's Movie Review is moving to TommyGShow.com.

The reviews will be the same, just in a new location.

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We Bought A Zoo

2011-12-28T16:04:00.001-05:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Cameron Crowe

Writers - Aline Brosh McKenna and Cameron Crowe

Starring - Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Thomas Haden Church, Colin Ford and Maggie Elizabeth Jones

Release Date - 23 December 2011

MPAA Rating - PG

We Bought A Zoo is very loosely based on the book of the same name by the owner of the Dartmoor Zoological Park in England Benjamin Mee. Mee bought the struggling zoo with his entire family in 2006. The film takes place in Southern California and the Benjamin Mee played by Matt Damon quits his job a few months after his wife dies and wants to move to start over. He finds the perfect house that he wants to buy, but then is told that the property is a zoo that is being run by the state. Mee is a writer and has no idea how to work with animals and run the zoo.

The movie follows a lot of the traditional Hollywood formula, but it is done well. A good part of the movie is the struggle between Benjamin and his son who wanted to say with his friends in the city. The film is more about the family while the book is about the animals and the zoo.

We Built A Zoo is a good movie to take the whole family. It has some good laughs and it has some heartfelt moments scattered throughout also. It is a holiday movie worth seeing.

The Muppets

2011-12-15T18:47:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - James Bobin

Writers - Jason Segel & Nicholas Stoller

Starring - Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, Kermit and the rest of the Muppets

Release Date - 23 November 2011

MPAA Rating - PG

The Muppets are back! It is their first big screen appearance since Muppets From Space in 1999. In the new movie, The Muppets have all moved on with their lives and Muppet Studios is falling apart. Muppet fans Gary and Walter are on a trip to Los Angeles and while on the studio tour Walter overhears oil tycoon Tex Richman trying to buy the land out from under The Muppets because of the oil located underneath. Walter tells Gary what he heard and they find Kermit to tell him and try to convince him to get the gang together to save the studio.

The film is surprising not a reboot of the series (a thing Hollywood does more and more of now). The writers did a good job of trying to update The Muppets while keeping the feel of the old movies and show when Jim Henson was in charge. It could have used more of the old style of Muppet Jokes.

If you enjoyed The Muppets when you were younger, you will continue to enjoy them with this movie.

Bonus video from a few years ago because it is awesome!

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

2011-12-01T16:34:00.001-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writers - Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

Starring - John Cho, Kal Penn, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, and Neil Patrick Harris

Release Date - 4 November 2011

MPAA Rating - R

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is the best adult Christmas movie ever made (editors note: as far as I know it is the only adult Christmas movie). The film follows the format of the previous Harold & Kumar movies with the heroes on another adventure. This time, they are not looking for a fast food restaurant or clearing their names as terrorist, the duo are in search of the perfect Christmas tree to replace the one that they caught on fire and are being chased by the Russian mob.

The same hijinks occurs with this adventure. They smoke weed, make weed jokes, make dirty jokes with the only difference is the 3D aspect. They make jokes about the 3D and use it way more then necessary at times I think to make fun of the unnecessary use of 3D in Hollywood post Avatar.

Neil Patrick Harris continues to spoof himself as the woman loving drug addict that he played before. His few scenes are one of the funniest parts of the film. A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is a hysterical movie that is just simple fun and I hope everyone sticks around for at least one more adventure.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

2011-05-23T03:09:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Rob Marshall

Writers - Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio

Starring - Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane & Kevin McNally

Release Date - 29 April 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the fourth chapter of the series and is loosely based on Tim Powers novel On Stranger Tides. In the film, Jack Sparrow is now searching for the Fountain of Youth. Captain Barbossa who is under orders from King George II, the Spanish, and Edward "Blackbeard" Teach are on the hunt for the fountain as well.

After the previous two sequels, I did not have my hopes that high that it would get better. On Stranger Tides, is better then both Dead Man's Chest and At Worlds End. They didn't milk all the jokes from Curse of the Black Pearl like they did in the first two sequels either. The only mentions of those other movies in the plot is Barbossa, The Black Pearl and Jack the Monkey, if you did not see any of the other films you can jump into the fun of this one and not be lost. There are a few Easter eggs for the long time fans.

The film goes back to what made the original so good. It is funny, full of swashbuckling action, complex characters you can love, hate or both and (best of all) pirates!

Thor

2011-05-08T19:52:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Kenneth Branagh

Writers - Ashley Miller & Zack Stentz and Don Payne

Starring - Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Kat Dennings and Clark Gregg

Release Date - 6 May 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Thor is the first of two films released by Marvel Studios this summer. It is the origin story of the superhero Thor. It begins on Thor's home world of Asgard and tells why he came to Earth and how he became one of the heroes of Earth. It also introduces Jane Foster and how she got thrown into Thor's life.

The movie has some really good action scenes with Thor kicking ass. Kat Dennings does a great job as the comic relief playing Jane Foster's intern. The people who designed and created Asgard did a fantastic job "building" that world.

If you are a fan of comic book character movies, you will enjoy this film. I am looking forward to a possible confrontation between Thor and Iron Man in next summers Avengers film.

Fast Five

2011-05-03T02:58:00.007-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Justin Lin

Writers - Ben Ripley

Starring - Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Elsa Pataky, Tyrese Gibson and Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges

Release Date - 29 April 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

There are only two words to describe Fast Five. Absolutely ridiculous. In a movie based in reality, the main characters are more invincible then superman and physics are thrown out the window of a Ford GT40. The film is hilarious too, but I am not sure it was written to be funny. One example; in the opening sequence, Vin Diesel's character is broken out of the prison bus by having it flip over end over end (multiple times) using a sports car while both are driving at high speeds. Everyone on the bus survives and there is not a scratch on the sports car. The screenwriters also wrote a screenplay full of plot holes. If they needed something to happen to fit their story it just did without logic or explanation.

After Dom is freed from going to prison by Brian and Mia, the trio escape to Rio de Janeiro. Once there Dom decides they should do one last job to be set for life. To pull if off they bring in everyone who has helped Dom and Brian in the previous four movies. The DEA send special agent Hobbs and his team to apprehend Dom and his gang and crime lord Hernan Reyes don't make the heist easier.

Despite everything wrong with Fast Five, the film is entertaining, only because of the ridiculousness. It is not an award winning film except for maybe an MTV Movie Award. If you have a crappy rainy afternoon, this could be a good two hour escape for you.

Source Code

2011-04-15T02:45:00.002-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Duncan Jones

Writers - Ben Ripley

Starring - Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga and Jeffrey Wright

Release Date - 1 April 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Source Code is one of the only films not based on an existing character or story that has been released this year or due out this summer. It is about a secret program called The Source Code that can send a person back in time for the last eight minutes of a persons life. This can be done as many times as needed, reliving the same 8 minutes. The intent of the program is to go back and stop disasters and terrorist attacks. In this situation, a bomb goes off on a commuter train in Chicago. Air Force Captain Colter Stevens is tasked to go back an locate the bomb and find out who built it.

Throughout the whole film, I was trying to predict what would happen next, and each time I tried I was incorrect (also hoping I could use The Source Code to go back and see what I missed to get it right). You would also think a movie that takes place over the same eight minutes over and over would get boring and get predictable, but it never does. It is one of the best movies of 2011 so far.

Source Code is the movie you want to see this summer instead of another remake, or sequel, or comic book movie, or reboot, or based on that bestselling novel by that person because all but one tent-pole movie is one of these.

Paul

2011-04-02T23:25:00.007-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Greg Mottola

Writers - Nick Frost, Simon Pegg

Starring - Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Blythe Danner, Joe Lo Truglio and Seth Rogen

Release Date - 18 March 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Paul is the first movie Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have starred in together without Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz director buddy Edgar Wright. It is almost as good and as funny as those two films. Paul is about two British sci-fi geeks who, after San Diego Comic Con, go on a road trip of UFO hot spots around western United States. Everything is going according to plan until they run into Paul. Paul is an escaped alien from Area 51 who crash landed on Earth and just wants to get back home.

The laughs start off a little slow, but once all the characters are properly introduced, the laughs are nonstop. I am not a huge fan of Seth Rogen, but he does an awesome job as the voice of Paul (who was created using CGI). The movie has its share of fart jokes, but there are plenty of more intelligent jokes... and who doesn't like fart jokes.

Battle: Los Angeles

2011-03-15T23:32:00.000-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Jonathan Liebesman

Writers - Christopher Bertolini

Starring - Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Ramon Rodriguez and Bridget Moynahan

Release Date - 11 March 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

I went into Battle: Los Angeles expecting things blowing up, cheesy dialog, aliens, and gun fights and that is it. That is exactly what I got and there is not anything wrong with that. The film follows Sgt. Nantz, a US Marine whose retirement is approved the morning of a strange worldwide meteor shower. It turns out it isn't a meteor shower, it is an invasion. His retirement is overturned and he is assigned to the 2nd Battalion 5th Marines under 2nd Lieutenant Martinez who is fresh out of the academy. Their orders are to rescue survivors located inside "the hot zone" and return in three hours before the Air Force bombs the area.

The film is an alien invasion version of Black Hawk Down. After about twenty minutes of character introductions, it is an hour and a half battle filled with explosions, destruction, chaos and mayhem. The film is shot in the same style as well.

Battle: Los Angeles is a summer popcorn flick. If you want a movie with substance and award winning writing this is not the film for you. If you want a fun filled movie with with quotes like "I am only qualified to work on animals and aliens" said by a veterinarian then head to the box office straight away.

The Adjustment Bureau

2011-03-09T00:09:00.004-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - George Nolfi

Writers - George Nolfi

Starring - Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, and Terence Stamp

Release Date - 4 March 2011

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The Adjustment Bureau is loosely based of off the Philip K. Dick short story "Adjustment Team". The film follows Senator David Norris and his accidental run in with the Adjustment Bureau, a mysterious organization that keeps individuals from deviating from "the plan". David meeting Elise was not a part of "the plan", and David is determined to beat the Adjustment Bureau so he can be with Elise.

The film is part thriller, part romantic, and part science fiction. It uses all three together well. It does start off a little slow, but about half way through it picks up once you start to learn the mythology of this world. It takes a couple of turns that you don't expect to keep you on your toes. The Adjustment Bureau is not the best movie ever made based on a Dick story, but it is no where near the worst.

The Mechanic

2011-01-30T23:37:00.000-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Simon West

Writers - Richard Wenk and Lewis John Carlino

Starring - Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Tony Goldwyn and Donald Sutherland

Release Date - 28 January 2011

MPAA Rating - R

The Mechanic is the latest action film starring Jason Statham. I just found out, after seeing the film, that it is a remake of a 1972 film starring Charles Bronson. The film is about a hit man named Arthur who after a hit on his good friend Harry, must fight back against the company he works for who made the hit on Harry. Arthur takes Harry's son Steve as an apprentice after the death of his father.

From watching the trailers before seeing The Machanic, I expected the film to be a no holds bar adrenaline thrill ride like Jason Statham's other action movies like The Transporter and Crank. It does not compare. There is only two action sequences including the climax of the film. The climax that is so quick that if you blink you can miss it. The story is nothing original, and I got bored a few times waiting to see what I came to see...gun fights and stuff blowing up.

True Grit

2011-01-04T18:48:00.007-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Writers - Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Starring - Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin and Barry Pepper

Release Date - 22 December 10

MPAA Rating - PG-13

True Grit is a western based on the book by Charles Portis and is also a remake of the 1969 film starring John Wayne, but follows the book more closely. The film follows teenager Mattie Ross, who goes to Fort Smith Arkansas to pick up her fathers body after he was murdered by Tom Chaney. Disobeying her mother, she sets out to personally hire a US Marshall to hunt down Tom Chaney to bring him to justice. She chooses Rooster Cogburn because she is told by the town's sheriff that he has "true grit".

The film is very much more a period specific then a lot of recent westerns in that it uses a lot of dialog that they would use in the 1870's. Mattie uses some words that I have never heard before because they are words that every day Americans don't use anymore. Hailee Steinfeld, the actor who plays Mattie, is a very talented young woman who should be a big star in the next few years.

The Coen Brothers have made an excellent film. The acting by all three stars is brilliant. Who would ever think The Dude would win Oscars 12 years later. And how did they get Matt Damon to grow that mustache?

If you are not a fan of westerns, you don't have to worry about not liking the movie. My girlfriend never wants to watch westerns with me, and she loved True Grit even more then me.

Black Swan

2010-12-11T23:42:00.002-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Darren Aronofsky

Writers - Mark Heyman and Andres Heinz and John J. McLaughlin

Starring - Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, and Winona Ryder

Release Date - 3 December 2010

MPAA Rating - R

I went into seeing Black Swan expecting a bizarre movie with a Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene. What I got was an excellent and bizarre movie that also makes you think, with a Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene. Black Swan follows a young ballerina named Nina who is up for her big break starring as the lead in "Black Swan" after the retirement of the groups' star. Nina befriends Lily, the new girl in the company. Lily also wants the lead role but is awarded the job as Nina's understudy. The pressure, hard work, and fame gets to Nina which makes her go through a transformation of her own.

The movie has a lot of sex throughout, which could make some people uncomfortable, and it can be debated if it was needed for plot development or not. Even though it is about ballet dancers(which I have no interest in going to see), Aronofsky made a film that keeps your attention from start to finish.

The camera work for the ballet scenes are incredible. The director of photography and camera operator made the camera another dancer to put you right in the middle of the action. Clint Mansell's music fits perfectly and was one of my favorite parts of the movie.

Black Swan was made very well and the actresses do deserve the award nominations that are being predicted. I also wouldn't be surprised it the film got a nomination for best picture.

Faster

2010-11-30T21:25:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 1

Director - George Tillman Jr.

Writers - Tony Gayton, Joe Gayton

Starring - Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Carla Gugino, Tom Berenger

Release Date - 24 November 2010

MPAA Rating - R

Faster is the first Dwayne Johnson action movie in six years. He should stick to comedy and children's movies if he is going to make action films like this one. In Faster, his character is jailed for robbery for ten years. Now that he is free, his only goal is to get revenge and kill everyone who was involved in the robbery that had him put in prison and his brother murdered. Billy Bob Thornton plays a drug addicted detective that is a week from retirement. There is a hitman that the bad guys hire to kill Dwayne Johnson's character. I guess killing him in prison would have been too easy.

The film is unoriginal and extremely predictable. There wasn't any part in the 98 minutes run time that I was surprised by what happened. They didn't do anything groundbreaking or original in the cinematography. It is a very generic movie.

If you want a good revenge movie just watch any of the Transporter films, Kill Bill or Taken instead.

RED

2010-10-21T23:48:00.002-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Robert Schwentke

Writers - Jon Hoeber & Erich Hoeber

Starring - Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Karl Urban, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich & Helen Mirren

Release Date - 15 October 2010

MPAA Rating - PG-13

RED is the latest action comedy that is based on the DC comic of the same name. The film follows Frank Moses who is a retired CIA agent. One night his home is attacked by a group of assassins. He escapes and with the help of a group of retired CIA agents, and the girl he likes, he finds out the conspiracy he was dragged into and sets out to clear his name.

RED is an extremely funny movie. You will be laughing through out the entire film. John Malkovich's character Marvin makes you laugh the whole time he is on screen. This is definitely the film to see to just laugh your ass off.

The only down side of the film is it is very predictable. It follows a very generic action movie formula, but since the movie is meant to be funny this is easy to overlook.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

2010-09-01T23:40:00.001-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Edgar Wright

Writers - Michael Bacall & Edgar Wright

Starring - Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong, Mark Webber, , Johnny Simmons and Ben Lewis

Release Date - 13 August 2010

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is an underrated movie. I know in the two weeks since it came out it has not been the blockbuster Universal had hoped, but this is a movie that you should see. It has something for everyone and is the perfect date movie; it has comedy, romance, action, ~~lesbians~~ love, epic battles, and breakups.

The film follows 23 year old Scott Pilgrim as he searches for his true love. He figures he found it in Ramona Flowers. Quickly, Scott finds out that he must defeat her "seven evil exes" in order to be with her.

The movie has lots of pop culture and 80's video game references hidden throughout to add to the laughs, but if you miss them you won't be lost in the plot. The only problem I had with the movie was that Michael Cera gets annoying and whinny at a few points throughout.

Inception

2010-07-23T23:30:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Christopher Nolan

Writers - Christopher Nolan

Starring - Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Dileep Rao & Cillian Murphy

Release Date - 16 July 2010

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Christopher Nolan makes another awesome film with Inception. His first original film since Following. This film, like all of Nolan’s but The Dark Knight, is a not told in a straight linear fashion. It takes place throughout a series of dreams. Cobb, played by Leonardo Dicaprio, and his team use some made up technology that enables him to go into a person’s dreams to steal information. After a job goes sour, he is offered a job he can not refuse. This job requires Cobb to implant an idea into the subject's mind and not to steal something, which is believed to be impossible.

The movie does some really cool things visually that I can’t recall ever being done before. It is done so well that it doesn’t look fake like most effects in movies these days. It is really cool once you know why these things are happening in the story.

The story is the most original done in a long time. It isn’t based on a book, a TV show, a movie that was made 20 years ago, a comic book, or a video game. It is the only film this summer that isn’t based on something already made in some medium.

Inception is visually worth seeing in a theater, but you will have some questions that will make you want to walk back to the box office and buy another ticket so you can catch the answers the second time.

Toy Story 3

2010-07-20T13:30:00.000-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Lee Unkrich

Writer - Michael Arndt

Voices - Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn & John Ratzenberger

Release Date - 18 June 2010

MPAA Rating - G

Even though Pixar pretty much made traditional animated films extinct, they are probably the most creative group of people in Hollywood. Every movie they make is brilliant in every way. Toy Story 3 completes the story started 15 years ago at the genesis of computer animated films in Toy Story. We all grew up with these characters. In the first film, Andy was a little kid with a wild imagination who loved playing with his toys. Now, in 2010, Andy is grown up and is about to leave home for is first year at college and has not played with Woody, Buzz, and the gang in years. While cleaning is room, the toys were supposed to go in the attic, but accidentally end up at the Sunnyside day care center. Since Woody loves Andy unconditionally, he has to get the gang back to Andy since they aren’t supposed to be at the day care center.

Watching this movie, you see how far the technology has come over the years. The detail put into everything has gotten 100 times better. I would have never thought cartoons would look this good. It still will never replace traditional animation, but that is a whole other topic.

The movie is full of laughs, I laughed the whole time. The story was well thought out and it is the perfect ending for the series. I wont give anything away about the last reel, but it is a very happy heartfelt ending and if you don't feel some kind of emotion before the credits roll you must be some sort of robot.

Predators

2010-07-13T23:42:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Nimród Antal

Writers - Alex Litvak & Michael Finch

Starring - Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Alice Braga, Walton Goggins, Oleg Taktarov, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo, Louis Ozawa Changchien & Mahershalalhashbaz Ali

Release Date - 9 July 2010

MPAA Rating - R

Predators is based on a story Robert Rodriguez wrote way back in 1994, but 20th Century Fox wouldn't produce it. Fast forward about 15 years, Fox decides to produce the film. Predators is the best movie starring the Predator since the original 1987 film with Arnold Schwarzenegger. The film takes the franchise back to its roots, something it lost in the two Alien Vs. Predator films. The film starts with Adrien Brody's character waking up in a free fall. His parachute opens and he lands safely in the jungle. He meets other military personnel, criminals and gangsters from around the world. The movie solves why the "greatest killers" are kidnapped and put together in this jungle.

The film pays its tributes to the original in many ways throughout, and never done in a way that it doesn't move the movie forward. Most importantly, the Predators were men in old school rubber monster suits and not crappy modern CGI, which would have ruined the whole thing. The composer even uses the original music themes and styles. You could watch the two films back to back and they would fit together as if the same people made both.

Since the film is a big hunt, it gets violent at time, but it isn't the gory variety. It wasn't easy to predict the order of deaths, I was wrong every time. If you enjoyed the original Predator films then you will enjoy and have a great time with Predators. And the one liners, are awesome!

The A-Team

2010-06-13T23:25:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Joe Carnahan

Writers - Joe Carnahan & Brian Bloom and Skip Woods

Starring - Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Sharlto Copley & Patrick Wilson

Release Date - 11 June 2010

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The A-Team is the absolutely ridiculously fun action movie of the summer of 2010. The plot is unoriginal. The action is beyond unbelievable. It has some big names in the cast. It is funny. It is full of cheesy dialog.

Like the television show the film is based on, it follows a special army unit who are arrested for a "crime they didn't commit". The show (from what I remember) they break out of prison then become mercenaries and every episode they help people who have a problem and no one else can help. The film is about the unit trying to clear their names after being framed by a private security company called Black Forest.

The best part of the movie is Murdock, played tremendously by Sharlto Copley. He makes the movie. Everything he said or did made me laugh. No one else in the cast is half as good as him.

The plot is predicable and follows the Hollywood formula for popcorn flick about clearing your name. However, with action sequences that involve flying a tank while being attacked by fight jets you have to give the writers some credit for some sort of creativity and originality.

The A-Team is worth a screening from your comfy couch while enjoying the beer (if your over 21) or soda and the chips and salsa that are on your coffee table.

Iron Man 2

2010-05-09T16:00:00.001-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Jon Favreau

Writers - Justin Theroux

Starring - Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson & Garry Shandling

Release Date - 7 May 2010

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Iron Man 2 is the third movie produced by Marvel Comics based on the universe they created in comic books adapted for the big screen (Thor and Captain America are in production for release next summer). The film takes place about six months after the first film and is about the repercussions of Tony Stark creating and becoming Iron Man. Tony has problems with the US military who want the suits for their soldiers. Problems running his company that is now in the business of peace instead of creating weapons. A poor disgruntled Russian man, Ivan Vanko, who wants to kill Tony because their fathers worked together and his was deported and the Stark’s got rich. And to top it all off, Tony is dying.

Robert Downey Jr. continues to portray Tony Stark perfectly. Mickey Rourke plays such a convincing Russian that you would think he was from Russia and not New York. Don Cheadle fits the role of assistant/sidekick/friend Colonel Rhoades better then Terrance Howard did in the first film. Howard was replaced because of salary issues. Cheadle looks more tough and military like then the former.

The film doesn’t one up itself from the original like some recent sequels like The Dark Knight or X2. I’m not saying it’s a bad movie, just when you compare the two the first is better. The film has less action overall then the first one, but the final action scene verses Whiplash is better then the final battle with Ironmonger. Whiplash was a much more bad ass villain too, and you can never go wrong with adding Scarlett Johansson kicking ass as the Black Widow.

Iron Man 2 is a true summer film, It is full of fun, edge of your seat excitement, things blowing up, beautiful women, laughs, and fighting. All the things needed and wanted in the opening weeks of the summer at the cinema. It is a movie that will not disappoint you.

Kick-Ass

2010-04-18T00:12:00.002-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Matthew Vaughn

Writers - Jane Goldman & Matthew Vaughn

Starring - Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Mark Strong, Lyndsy Fonseca, Nicolas Cage & Chloe Grace Moretz

Release Date - 16 April 2010

MPAA Rating - R

Kick-Ass is the first superhero/comic book movie to be released this summer movie season. However, Kick-Ass is not your typical superhero film. Most superhero and/or comic book movies are rated PG-13 or even sometimes PG and Kick-Ass is rated R. Like any superhero movie, it isn't to be taken seriously.

The film is based on comic written by Mark Millar and is set in a world without superheroes. Dave Lizewski, a normal New York City teenager who hangs out reading comic books has always wondered why nobody has ever become a superhero. He makes a costume, makes a MySpace page and sets out to save New Yorkers and calls himself Kick-Ass. When Kick-Ass tries to help his school crush by telling a drug dealer to leave her alone he meets Hit-Girl and watches her kill all the "bad guys" in the apartment, and gets pulled into something way over his head.

There is a lot of controversy going around about the large amount of violence, gore, the bad language and Hit-Girl. Unlike Batman or Iron Man, the violence is not toned down and is very bloody. Every major character "curses like a sailor". The biggest of them all is the character of Hit Girl played by Chloe Grace Moretz. This is because of the language she uses (words like the ones that rhyme with sock and hunt) and the gratuitous violence (guns, knives, swords fights) and body count that her character racks up (I lost count at 6 and that was in Hit-Girls first scene) because she was 13 years old at the world premiere.

If you are not a fan of violence or bad language, this movie is not for you (go see Date Night instead). Controversy aside, since people just love to complain at everything on TV and on the silver screen, the film is funny, entertaining, and action packed. It is everything you can ask for in a superhero movie and Matthew Vaughn has done it better then most. Just remember, as Chloe Grace Moretz said "It's a movie and it’s not real"

The Wolfman

2010-03-07T23:23:00.002-05:00

Spanks - 2

Director - Joe Johnston

Writer - Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self

Starring - Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, Geraldine Chaplin, and Hugo Weaving

Release Date - 12 February 2010

MPAA Rating - R

The Wolfman is Universal Studios latest remake of their classic monster movie franchises. The film follows English actor Lawrence Talbot who returns home to Blackmoor England, after being sent to the United States when he was younger, after a letter arrives that his brother was missing. After finding his brother's body ripped apart he investigates what killed him. During the investigation he is attacked and bitten in the neck by a wolf, which causes him to change on the full moon.

The film has its highs and lows. Unfortunately, the highs only occur when there is a werewolf on screen. The non-lycan part of the film is very boring, which sadly used more film stock than the werewolf parts. One is not seen until about a half hour into the movie. Once the wolf shows up, it gets violent and sometimes brutal, and many people, some of whom are innocent, are torn to pieces.

Cop Out

2010-02-28T21:14:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Kevin Smith

Writer - Robb Cullen & Mark Cullen

Starring - Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Guillermo Díaz, Seann William Scott & Ana de la Reguera

Release Date - 26 February 2010

MPAA Rating - R

Cop Out is the latest film from New Jersey native Kevin Smith, and it is his first that he did not write himself. The only connection to Smith's View Askewniverse is that Jason Lee plays a very small roll, so don't expect to see Jay and Silent Bob anywhere.

The film is about two detectives who have been partners for nine years. Paul (Tracy Morgan) thinks his wife is cheating on him and Jimmy (Bruce Willis)has his daughter's wedding coming up. To pay for the wedding Jimmy plans on selling his mint condition 1952 baseball card of Andy Pafko. At the baseball card shop, Dave (Seann William Scott) robs the place, tasers Jimmy and steals his card. Paul and Jimmy use their knowledge from nine years on the force to get back his baseball card and find out if Paul's wife is cheating on him.

Cop Out is the second funniest cop movie of the 2000's behind Hot Fuzz. The theater was full and everyone was laughing from beginning to end. Tracy Morgan is as hysterical as always. Bruce Willis is a funny John McClain. Seann William Scott continues to make me laugh even though Stiffler was annoying and not funny at all.

The plot isn't anything original and great, but it is a fun buddy cop movie. The type that we have not seen since the 80's and early 90's. The score reminded me of the scores from all the classic '80s cop movies, and is scored by the guy who scored Beverly Hills Cop. Go see this movie to just laugh.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

2010-02-22T23:44:00.008-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Chris Columbus

Writer - Craig Titley

Starring - Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario

Release Date - 12 February 2010

MPAA Rating - PG

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is based on the book of the same name written by Rick Riordan. The story follows Percy Jackson who is a regular teenager living in New York City who finds out he is the son of Poseidon, the God of the Sea. Percy finds out who he is, because he is attacked by a fury disguised as a substitute teacher on a field trip who wants him to give her the stolen lightning bolt of Zeus. Another of his teachers is Chiron in disguise who tells him who he is and that the Gods will start a war in 14 days if the lightning bolt isn't returned to Zeus. Percy and two of his friends set out to find the stolen bolt and save humanity from the gods war.

The film is great the whole family can enjoy. There was never a time where I was bored or thought it was too childlike. It wasn't as predictable as most family movies I have seen and reviewed either. Creatures from Greek Mythology are all over the movie and could be a good way to introduce your children to these stories and gets your reacquainted with them.

There is one part of the movie that was so bad it was funny when it happened, but in the end it made a little bit of sense. This is the part in Las Vegas. The song used in this sequence is Poker Face by Lady Gaga. It is so out of context in the film, that if you hear all the lyrics of the song, which adds cheeseyness of it. This is the only complaint I have about the film. I see the books 4 sequels (so far) being made in the coming years.

Legion

2010-01-27T20:45:00.006-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Scott Stewart

Writer - Peter Schink and Scott Stewart

Starring - Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton & Kevin Durand

Release Date - 22 January 2010

MPAA Rating - R

Legion is a film about angels, but they are not the beautiful glowy ones you see in churches. When God loses faith in humanity, he plans to send an army of angles to Earth to exterminate it. Archangel Micheal doesn't agree with God, so he leaves Heaven, cuts off his wings, steals a locker full of automatic weapons, and becomes humanities last hope for survival. Meanwhile, at a diner in the middle of the desert in New Mexico, is a pregnant waitress named Charlie, a few other employees, and six customers. When the sky gets cloudy and things start getting crazy Micheal shows up.

I was expecting an epic battle of angels versus angles, but that never came. The film has a lot of action, and it is some good action, but is of the human versus possessed type human kind. The action is well shot and fun to watch. They special effects looked good too, and I couldn't tell if some were computer generated effects or practical effects.

The movie gets slow at times between the action when the survivors in the diner are talking with each other. Some of the dialog during these scenes isn't the greatest and is silly but it wasn't meant to be. A lot more could have been done with the story of Legion, but maybe the filmmakers have more of a story to tell and with that the story can be taken to the level of potential that this one had. And Micheal is a bad-ass hero.

Avatar

2010-01-16T07:03:00.008-05:00

Spanks - 5

Director - James Cameron

Writer - James Cameron

Starring - Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Joel Moore, Giovanni Ribisi & Michelle Rodriguez

Release Date - 18 December 2009

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Avatar starts off on a spaceship that has just arrived in orbit of the moon Pandora. Pandora has become a great interest to a Corporation from Earth who built an outpost there. The company is there to mine a mineral called unobtainium which sells for millions of dollars per kilogram. Pandora has a humanoid species called the Na'vi that are in their way, and an atmosphere that is poisonous to humans. Because of this, they create the avatar program that genetically creates a Na'vi out of a humans DNA that can be remotely controlled by the human safely on the outpost. On the ship is the movies' narrator, a disabled veteran named Jake Sully who is permanently in a wheelchair. He signs up for the avatar program to make money to get his legs fixed to walk again. What starts off as following orders, turns into much much more.

Tise film, like Titanic, has all of the action in the last third of the movie. Cameron keeps your attention and never gets boring in the "slow" parts because he is teaching the viewer all about the culture of the Na'vi and the ecosystem of Pandora and showing the greed of the humans who run the human outpost, lead by Colonel Miles Quaritch and lead miner Parker Selfridge.

The film is visually awesome. You can tell that it took a long time to make by the great attention to detail. It did have two years of post production. You could say that it looks like a cartoon with the blue people and pastel colors of the native wildlife, which is true if it were set on Earth. Do you really think every possible planet or moon would look exactly like Earth? Everything that has been transported to Pandora from Earth looks just like it would here on Earth from the humans, from the habitats, to the methods of transportation.

I have been hearing stories that the film is racist. If humans conquering, destroying, and relocating other beings to get what they want without any care to the beings or the environment is racist then so is Avatar. How District 9 is the science fiction version of the South African Apartheid, Avatar is the science fiction version of the way European settlers/early Americans treated the Indians to get what they wanted. Those people complaining about Sigourney Weaver's smoking are out of their mind, because she has a cigarette like three times in the two hour and a half hour film.

Avatar is truly a film that has to be seen in 3D. It was filmed with 3D cameras to be in 3D and not digitally converted into 3D like most 3D films are. Seeing it in a standard 2D theater would be a waist of money. If you can make it to a true IMAX theater, it would be even better being that the screen is bigger then standard 35 mm or digital 3D theater.

Sherlock Holmes

2010-01-03T19:32:00.000-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Guy Ritchie

Writer - Michael Robert Johnson and Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg

Starring - Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong & Eddie Marsan

Release Date - 25 December 2009

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Sherlock Holmes has been adapted into films over 200 times since Sir Arthur Conan Doyle published his first print appearance in 1887. This is Holmes' the first appearance in a major motion picture in the 2000s (that I can recall). The film is not your normal Hollywood origin story. The film begins with Holmes and Watson being introduced by solving a case involving a serial killer. Cut to a few months later and we find out Watson is getting married and Holmes gets his next case, the case the movie follows.

Being a film by Guy Richie, I expected a lot of crazy twist and plot developments you come to expect from a Richie film. But being the film wasn't written by him, you get generic plot development and little suspense. I hope the planned sequel is written with a lot more input from Richie and takes more of what he has done brilliantly in the films he has written and directed previously.

If you go without the expectations I had for it, it is probably a good movie. The people I saw it with enjoyed it a lot. I thought the soundtrack by Hans Zimmer was different sounding and amazing. The design team did a good job recreating London in the 1890s. Robert Downey Jr. brings Holmes to live as well as he did with Tony Stark. Everything was in the right place for Sherlock Holmes to be a great film, but it shows in this film how a wrong story can mess up everything.

The Princess and the Frog

2009-12-24T23:24:00.005-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Ron Clements and John Musker

Writer - Ron Clements & John Musker and Rob Edwards

Voices - Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Michael-Leon Wooley, Jennifer Cody and John Goodman

Release Date - 11 December 2009

MPAA Rating - G

The Princess and the Frog is the 49th animated film by Walt Disney Animation Studios. It is their first hand drawn film since Home on the Range and their first new princess movie since Beauty and the Beast.

The movie is about Tiana, a teenage girl growing up in New Orleans who has a dream to be a chef and open the restaurant her and her father dreamed of opening since she was a young girl. Meanwhile, Prince Naveen comes to town to court Tiana's wealthy friend Charlotte. On his way to the ball in his honor, he meets a voodoo doctor who calls himself The Shadow Man. This meeting changes the lives of Tiana and Prince Naveen forever.

Louis, the trumpet playing alligator was my favorite of the supporting characters. The Shadow Man reminds me a little of Jafar in his evilness. Ray, the firefly, was funny the way he talked about his true love Evangeline.

The film follows the fairytale formula that Disney has been using successfully for over 70 years. After all that time, they can still make fun, original, and inspirational films for children of all ages. I thoroughly enjoyed it immensely and even laughed throughout Tiana's journey.

Pirate Radio

2009-12-11T20:33:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Richard Curtis

Writer - Richard Curtis

Starring - Nick Frost, Bill Nighy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kenneth Branagh & Tom Sturridge

Release Date - 13 November 2009

MPAA Rating - R

Pirate Radio (originally known as The Boat that Rocked) is the newest film from the brilliant mind who brought the world Mr. Bean and Blackadder. The film takes place in the United Kingdom in 1966. It follows the staff of pirate radio station Rock Radio who are on a ship in the North Sea and the politicians in London who want to shut them down.

The staff of Rock Radio are all fun and free and enjoy to party and rock. Rock n' Roll is the biggest thing in their lives and their listeners. Things change when they find out the British government wants them off the air. They don't plan to give up without a fight. The film is loosely based on true events involving pirate radio stations at the time, but certain plot elements like Rock n' Roll being banned on the British Isles is completely fiction. Writer/Director Richard Curtis said this film was made for entertainment purposes only and not to tell the real story of events of the late 1960s.

The film is funny, but in a British way of funny. If you don't like the British comic style, this film isn't for you. If you don't mind it, you will enjoy it greatly. All the characters are likeable, and Philip Seymour Hoffman continues to be a fantastic actor.

2012

2009-11-16T02:31:00.005-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Roland Emmerich

Writer - Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser

Starring - John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton & Oliver Platt

Release Date - 13 November 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Roland Emmerich's latest disaster film, 2012, is full of plot holes, bad dialog, impossible situations, and some out of order editing; but damn is it a fun movie! Instead of giant flying saucers, a nuclear mutated lizard, or an ice age the cause or the disaster is solar flares and shifting in the Earth's tectonic plates.

The film has the luckiest character ever created in Hollywood. John Cusack plays a poor divorced writer/limo driver who survives earthquakes, fires, and any "red shirt" doesn't; not once, or twice. I lost count half way through. Each time it gets more comical (I don't think that was the filmmakers intent). I am not going to say how, but some will entertain you and others will just make you want to jump ship. The dialog is equally as comical. With Cusack saying things like "When they tell you not to panic... that's when you run!" or his son says "Woah, big plane." and the Russian billionaire who owns it replys "It's Russian." The entire two and a half hour movie is written in this manner.

The film is all about showing off computer special effects technology. Most of the movie is CGI and the filmmakers have even said that it is more of an animated film because of how much isn't real. The effects do look better (and more real) then they did in the trailers but like the Star Wars prequel trilogy they just showed off and made it way to busy. Because of this, it takes away the realness of the disaster and destruction. All the modern digital special effects in the world will never beat the simple but very awesome destruction created with practical effects in Independence Day.

The only reason to watch this film is because you like disaster movies. That is the best part of the movie. The only way to watch it is in a theater or on a big HDTV with a kick ass home theater system. Any other way would be pointless.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

2009-11-12T00:18:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Grant Heslov

Writer - Peter Straughan and Jon Ronson

Starring - George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey & Stephen Lang

Release Date - 6 November 09

MPAA Rating - R

The Men Who Stare at Goats is inspired by the top secret true story of the United States military and its attempts to use psychic powers in a group of soldiers as told in the book by Jon Ronson.

The film follows reporter Bob Wilton, who meets Lyn Cassady in Kuwait. Bob knows about Lyn's involvement as a psychic spy from one of his previous articles After the two men meet, Lyn invites him to write a story about his new mission, that brought him out of retirement, in Iraq. The film also tells about the creation of the New Earth Army that Lyn was an original member of.

The humor in the movie is very dark and weird. It is definitely not your typical comedy. It is funny, but only if you are interested in off beat comedy. Jeff Bridge's Bill Django character is his funniest since The Dude. George Clooney can play a wacko and should continue to stick with these kind of roles and refrain from playing the action hero.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-10-27T03:16:00.008-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Spike Jonze

Writer - Spike Jonze & Dave Eggers

Starring - Max Records & Catherine Keener
Voices - Catherine O'Hara, Forest Whitaker, Lauren Ambrose & James Gandolfini

Release Date - 16 October 09

MPAA Rating - PG

It took 46 years for Where the Wild Things Are to be adapted into a motion picture. After many failed attempts at making it a computer animated film, director Spike Jonze, who Maurice Sendak said "was young, interesting and had a spark that none of the others had", was hired to make it with actors and puppets and it couldn't have been done better.

The story is of Max. Max is a ten year old boy who has a very creative imagination and acts like your regular New Jersey ten year old would. His rambunctious mindset gets the best of him one evening which causes alarm for his mother. After his mother yells at him he runs out of the house. He then finds a boat and sails to an island. On the island he befriends a character named Carol and his group of friends.

The visuals used to create this world are what makes this movie great. The fact that the Wild Things where made and actually exist is even more exciting. They could have easily made seven Jar Jar Binks in the computer, but they took the time and craftsmanship to build all seven costumes, and you can tell.

The film is childish at times, but it is an adventure taken from the point of view a ten year old boy. The dialog isn't great, but think of the book and how the story is told more through the pictures then the words. If you go expecting a typical Disney film, you will be greatly disappointed. Remember how the book is, and watch the film as if the book is being projected onto the screen.

Zombieland

2009-10-16T00:52:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Ruben Fleischer

Writer - Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick

Starring - Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone & Abigail Breslin

Release Date - 2 October 09

MPAA Rating - R

Zombieland is a comedy about a group of human survivors that come together after the world is destroyed from most of the population being turned into zombies. The four of them are in search of completely different things until they are all brought together. Wichita and Little Rock are on their way to Pacific Playland, an amusement park in California, that is rumored to be zombie free. Tallahassee and Columbus decide to go there too after the girls attempt to steal their car.

Throughout the film Columbus tells us his rules for staying alive in Zombieland. Some of them are what you would expect, but the ones that you don't expect are funny. The way they are described and shown is an added comedic treat.

The movie is hysterical. I laughed the whole time. It has an awesome cameo and Tallahassee's original search is brilliant and unexpected (both I won't ruin for you). It also has a few scenes that can be scary, but when you are closing your eyes or hiding behind your neighbor in the next seat you will be laughing your ass off. How many movies do you know that can do that to you?

9

2009-09-30T23:30:00.002-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Shane Acker

Writer - Pamela Pettler & Shane Acker

Voices - Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, John C. Reilly, Crispin Glover, Jennifer Connelly, Fred Tatasciore & Elijah Wood

Release Date - 9 September 2009

MPAA Rating - PG-13

9 is the first full length animated film from director Shane Acker and it is based off the original short film he made in 2005. The film takes place just after the fall of humanity when the 9th of a scientist "stitchpunks" comes to life. He finds a talisman next to him and picks it up then sets out to find out what this object is and why he was created. He quickly finds another like him who says there are more stitchpunks before he gets attacked and taken away. And the mystery of this world continues to unfold.

9 has a very unique look created by Acker and his animators. The world they created looks a lot more real than the animated features by Pixar, Dreamworks, etc. The "camera" work also has the fell of a live action movie with the use of zooms and focuses. The world is steampunk like in that it looks like it is set in the first half of the 20th century, but the technology is similar to today. Its very different than any other animated film.

The film moves along fast and it doesn't slow down for one second. Most films have few scenes that are slow and mess up its pacing, but not 9. The stitchpunks face some kind of danger the whole way through and it keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole film, I can't wait to watch it again.

Inglourious Basterds

2009-09-17T23:26:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Quentin Tarantino

Writer - Quentin Tarantino

Starring - Brad Pitt, Mélanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz, Eli Roth & Diane Kruger

Release Date - 21 August 09

MPAA Rating - R

Inglourious Basterds is the latest film from Quentin Tarantino and his first war movie (or a spaghetti western but with World War II iconography if you ask him). The film is set in World War II Europe, but that is the only thing that historically accurate in the film. Historical figures are in the film by name only, because their personalities and actions are altered to fit in this "alternate universe". Like most of Tarantino's movies, this one follows a multiple story lines that somehow and at some point cross each other.

The three stories Inglourious Basterds follows are of Colonel Hans Landa, a Nazi officer who is very good at searching France for hiding Jews. Shosanna Dreyfus, a Jewish French girl who runs a movie theater in Paris who agrees to let the Nazis use the theater so she can lock the Nazi officers inside and burn it down. The last is of Aldo Raine and "The Basterds", a group of 8 US soldiers who drop into occupied France whose orders are to kill Nazis until the Allies get news of the Nazi movie premiere, then they are ordered to assist a British film critic in an attack on the theater.

The trailer for the film makes it seem like it is just about Brad Pitt and his men running around tormenting and killing Nazis. The actual screen time showing them at work is very little. The stories involving Hans Landa and Shosanna Dreyfus are followed more. I didn't know of the other stories before seeing the film so I was disappointed. Now knowing that the movie is more than that, I might like it more the second time around.

The film is very Tarantino in that there is lots and lots of dialog used to tell the story, unlike most war movies where the visuals tell a lot of the story. The film does have a good share of comedy written in. Everything Hans Landa says is funny, but sometimes is the way he says what he is saying and not what he is saying. Christoph Waltz who plays Landa better win an Oscar for his performance, because it was flawless.

District 9

2009-08-16T21:23:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Neill Blomkamp

Writer - Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell

Starring - Sharlto Copley, Mandla Gaduka, William Allen Young & Jason Cope

Release Date - 14 August 09

MPAA Rating - R

District 9 is more proof that you don't need one hundred plus million dollars to make a science fiction/action film look great. The "Prawns" in the film look more real than any other CGI created character all summer and its total budget was only 30 million dollars. Compared to Transformers and G.I. Joe whose budgets were above 150 million each.

The film is shot partially in documentary style. The second act is shot as a typical fiction film, while the first and third act are documentary. By doing it this way, you get a better understanding of the District 9 world. The film tells the story of the government of South Africa and the company, Multi National United evicting and relocating the almost two million alien refugees (called negatively by the humans as Prawns) who showed up over the city of Johannesburg twenty something years earlier. MNU assigns Wikus van der Merwe to lead the relocation and the "documentary film crew" follows him into District 9. As with any forced relocation, the aliens resist. Problems also persist with the Nigerian gang who run a black market for the aliens.

The film is an allegory for racism in the world whether it is the way African Americans were treated in the United States after the Civil War until the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's or, since the director is from South Africa, the Apartheid that lasted up into to 1990's. The "Prawns" representing the repressed group.

The movie is also different in that the aliens are not here to take over and destroy humanity even though they have better technology and well advanced weaponry. The filmmakers don't shove the racism thing down your throat, so you don't have to worry about being preached to about being caring and loving to all living beings. District 9 is the best film of the 2009 summer so far, and I don't see another film topping it this season.

District 9 is based off of Neill Blomkamp's 2005 short film Alive in Joburg. Check it out onSpy Films. It is only six minutes long.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009-08-11T18:12:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Stephen Sommers

Writer - Stuart Beattie, David Elliot & Paul Lovett

Starring - Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Christopher Eccleston, Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Release Date - 7 August 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has been getting a lot of bad press since it was released on August 7th. Truthfully, I went expecting nothing out of it, as should have all the other critics. It will never win any kind of award and I don't believe the filmmakers were going for an Academy Award for Best Picture. The film is exactly what it should have been. It was a summer popcorn movie that was so bad that it was awesome!

The film is an origin story, but unlike most films, its the origin of the villian, Cobra Commander. The G.I. Joe's have been saving the world with all their ultra high tech toys for years. It shows the Joe's from the point of view of two new recruts, Duke and Ripcord. Duke and Ripcord started in the U.S. Army, were ordered to deliver four brand new warheads to NATO. Warheads that can quickly destroy an entire city. The convoy gets ambushed and the warheads get stolen by the Baroness before the Joe's arrive. General Hawk recruits Duke and Ripcord to help find the Baroness and the four warheads before cities get leveled and millions of people die.

The film is very predictable. The special effects are average. The weapons are ridiculous. The accelerator suits being an example, but the action sequence they were used in was cool. The dialog is cheesy (deliberate?). It is overacted (deliberate?). The girls are super hot (of course!). All these factors make for a summer movie that is nothing more than great fun. If you go expecting Citizen Kane you are going to be greatly disappointed. If you go expecting a film based on a doll/action figure/toy (whatever you consider a G.I. Joe) who fights an evil organization called Cobra who just wants to control the world you will probably have a good time.

Moon

2009-07-27T06:27:00.010-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Duncan Jones

Writer - Duncan Jones & Nathan Parker

Starring - Sam Rockwell & Kevin Spacey

Release Date - 12 June 2009 (Limited)

MPAA Rating - R

Moon is the directorial debut of Duncan Jones, who just happens to be the son of David Bowie. The film is 99 percent one person, Sam Bell played by Sam Rockwell and his robot GERTY who is voiced by Kevin Spacey. The film follows Sam Bell who has two weeks left on his three year contract to mine helium-3 from the dark side of the moon. A problem with the communication satellite allows only recorded messages to be sent to and from Earth. From being by himself and isolated from everyone, Sam starts to see a woman on the station and on the lunar surface. Sam has an accident and wakes up back on the station under the care of GERTY. Things then don't add up for Sam as he starts seeing himself and hearing things. That is all I can say without spoilers.

The story is completely original, which is something you don't see much in movies these days. They are normally books, remakes or old movies (sometimes not even old movies) and comic book characters. Seeing something original always makes me happy. The film is also based on science and is not all science fiction, although we are many years away from harvesting helium-3 from the surface of The Moon.

Sam Rockwell's performance is awesome, you wouldn't think he was that great of an actor from his previous rolls. The effects used to create the lunar surface and to fake the gravity looked better than a lot of movies that have tens of millions of dollars (Moon's budget was about five million).

Since the film is in limited release, it might not be playing in your local theater. If you can't make it to one of the theaters it is screening in, definitely get it on DVD the week it gets release. You won't be disappointed. Click here for the list of theaters that are screening Moon.

Public Enemies

2009-07-25T06:27:00.001-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Michael Mann

Writer - Ronan Bennett, Michael Mann & Ann Biderman

Starring - Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Stephen Lang & Billy Crudup

Release Date - 1 July 09

MPAA Rating - R

Public Enemies is the latest film about John Dillinger. It takes place over a year of his life from when he broke his gang out of the Indiana State Prison right after he himself was paroled from prison until he is shot and killed by the FBI outside the Biograph Theater on July 23, 1934. Along with telling Dillinger's story, the film follows Melvin Purvis who was the FBI agent in charge of finding and arresting Dillinger and his gang.

The film is accurate in showing the downfall of each member of Dillinger's gang, but the time line of the deaths is out of order to make for a better screen story. The robbery scenes and the shootouts were shot well, but it could have used more of them. The rest of the film was very slow in the pacing, and I was bored at some parts. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are great actors and portrayed their characters magnificently.

The filmmakers did a wonderful job recreating the 1930's with the cars, architecture, clothing, and props. In that way it was incorporated into the film. The picture was too clear and looked to me that it was shot with home video cameras. That took away the feeling of being in Dillinger's time. Period films should look more gritty and old, not perfect and crystal clear. That doesn't represent The Great Depression. It might look better on an HDTV than the huge movie screen, which is where you should watch this film anyway.

Brüno

2009-07-14T20:48:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Larry Charles

Writer - Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer & Jeff Schaffer

Starring - Sacha Baron Cohen & Gustaf Hammarsten

Release Date - 10 July 2009

MPAA Rating - R

Brüno, the new film by Sacha Baron Cohen, is the same style as Borat. However instead of being a satire about racism it is about homophobia. It does not say anything bad about being gay or stereotype them in a bad light like G.L.A.D says. It shows the viewers how homophobic the American people are, using the extreme stereotypes in the character to make it more comical. If you think Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan pushes the boundary of taking things to far, Brüno takes that line and goes twice as far. Brüno went as far to have a group of people walk out yelling in disgust because of a scene*.

The film is shot documentary style and follows Brüno as he travels to Los Angeles to become a superstar after he is fired from his Austrian fashion show Funkyzeit mit Brüno. Accompanied only with his assistant's assistant Lutz, (who is secretly in love with Brüno) they set out to become a superstar.

The film is very funny, but it isn't like any other R rated movie. The film's first cut was originally rated NC-17 and was re-cut. There are an uncountable number of mentions to gay sex; there are scenes of naked men; scenes of exaggerated gay sex acts; but it is done for comedy and to get reactions from the unsuspecting people involved in the prank and not to be pornography.

* The scene people walked out of included a physic medium and the deceased half of Milli Vanilli. Rob Pilatus was his first of his two loves. Use your imagination.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-07-09T06:50:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Michael Bay

Writer - Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman

Starring - Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Peter Cullen & Hugo Weaving

Release Date - 24 June 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is your typical Michael Bay film. Little plot, crappy dialog, lots of explosions, and special effects. The film continues 2 years after the first film with the Autobots working with an international team of soldiers tracking down and capturing Decepticons. Also, Sam Witwicky is about to enter college and begin a normal college life, but that doesn't happen and Sam is pushed back into the Autobots/Decepticons War. Megatron wants information from Sam's brain that can save the Decepticons and win the war for them.

The film was entertaining, but a little long. They could have made it tighter, especially the third act. The desert battle looked great visually, but the action was very repetitive. Parts were set in the Philadelphia area, and it is always cool to see places you know in a film, even if the geography of it all is all wrong.

The special effects companies did an amazing job making giant robots look real and believable as if they belong as a part of the world and not cartoony and fake. My only problem was that they edited the movie quickly and the camera is always moving so you can't get a very good look at all their details like you could in the first installment. The sound design was also great, making robots sound alien.

The movie doesn't change my mind about Shia LaBeouf. He still is an annoying actor and I wish he would stop being cast. John Turturro is the comic relief of the film as he was in the first, and has the best character in the movie. Megan Fox is still hot, and they should just keep her and get rid of Shia.

Transformers is a good movie to see in the theater, even with the silly plot and bad acting. It just wont have the same feel to it at home, giant robots will just seem small on a television. Don't expect anything great, just lots of chases, fights, fire, load noises, and things blowing up. The special effects and sound design are the main reasons you would want to see it.

Land of the Lost

2009-06-18T06:09:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 1

Director - Brad Silberling

Writer - Chris Henchy & Dennis McNicholas

Starring - Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride & Jorma Taccone

Release Date - 5 June 09

MPAA Rating - PG - 13

Land of the Lost is an absolutely terrible film. The story stinks, the dialog sucks, it isn't funny, and the sets look like they were taken from the original show. The only thing that made me laugh was the terrible writing. And I don't think that is what the writers were going for. At one part during the climax of the film Holly was talking to a Tyrannosaurs Rex about what just happened and it was supposed to be serious moment, but instead it was so bad it was the funniest part of the movie.

The film didn't know what it wanted to be. It was rated PG-13 mostly for a few little things in the dialog, but other than that it was a family film. They should have chosen one direction, either a "Step Brothers" like direction like Will Ferrell is good at or that of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" to attract the family.

The film's main antagonist is the Tyrannosaurs Rex that Holly names Grumpy. He has a vendetta against Marshall (Will Ferrell) because he said he had a small brain the size of a walnut. Grumpy than follows Marshall, Holly, and Will's as they search for the lost tachyon amplifier. The Sleestaks, who I researched to be the most famous of the creatures, were reduced to slaves of Enik and could have made for a much better group of bad guys.

I have never watched the original show from the 70's or the 90's remake, but I would recommend that if your in need of Land of the Lost fix, just watch them.

Drag Me to Hell

2009-06-15T06:10:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Sam Raimi

Writer - Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi

Starring - Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver & Dileep Rao

Release Date - 29 May 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Drag Me to Hell is the best new horror movie in years! It isn't a remake of an old horror flick or foreign film like they all are now. It isn't a silly slasher film were everyone gets senselessly killed in outrageous ways. It is just old fashion horror.

The film follows an ambitious loan officer (Christine Brown) looking to get a raise to assistant manager who gets cursed by an old gypsy woman because she wouldn't give her an extension on her mortgage. She is cursed by the Lamia and has three days to break the curse or it will take her soul to hell.

Drag Me the Hell finally has Sam Raimi going back to the lower budget horror movies that made him famous. Hopefully after Spiderman 4 & 5 he makes another one. It has its predictable moments, but I was on the edge of my seat the whole film waiting for Christine's fate. It uses a lot of cool shooting styles Raimi used in the Evil Dead trilogy and subsequent films.

If you want something different to go see, Drag Me to Hell is that movie. The ending was awesome, and made the movie even better.

The Hangover

2009-06-09T23:31:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Todd Phillips

Writer - Jon Lucas & Scott Moore

Starring - Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham & Ken Jeong

Release Date - 5 June 09

MPAA Rating - R

The Hangover was way funnier than I thought it would be from the trailer. It is about three friends and the brides' brother who go to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. When they wake up the next morning the groom is missing, there is a tiger in the bathroom, the room is trashed, a baby is found in the closet,and nobody remembers what happened the previous night. They have 12 hours to find the groom and get him home for the wedding.

I was surprised at how funny the movie was. I was expecting the only funny part to be the scene with Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins. Even when friends told me it was good, I still had my doubts. It is the funniest movie I have seen since Role Models.

Zach Galifianakis who plays the weird brother of the bride steals the movie. Everything he says doesn't make any sense but it is hysterical. Ken Jeong, who has had supporting roles in many comedies over the past year is great and I wouldn't be surprised if we saw him in some starring roles in the near future.

The Hangover is the movie to see if you want to just laugh and have some brainless fun.

Up

2009-06-02T20:56:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Pete Docter

Writer - Bob Peterson

Voices - Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Bob Peterson, Delroy Lindo & John Ratzenberger

Release Date - 29 May 09

MPAA Rating - PG

You would never think a movie about a crabby old man would be good or that you would care for this man, but Pixar's Up did it. Pixar once again creates an animated movie that is different and original. Up is about Carl Fredricksen's adventure he never got around to doing when he was younger. With urbanization closing in around him and his house and to avoid the Old People's Home, he ties thousands of helium balloons to his house to fly away to Paradise Falls in South America.

The animation of the film is nothing revolutionary. It is the story that makes the movie great. It doesn't follow the norm of animated family films where everything in the world ends in happiness and fantasy. The movie, yet far fetched with the flying house, is very real in the way it deals with life, humanity and relationships.

The film is very funny too. Dug the Dog has the funniest lines in the movie. The interaction between Carl and Russell is perfect for how an old man would talk to an annoying little boy. I laughed from start to end.

Terminator Salvation

2009-05-28T15:57:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - MCG

Writers - John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris

Starring - Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood, Anton Yelchin & Bryce Dallas Howard

Release Date - 21 May 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

As a post apocalyptic machines take over the world and kill most of humanity movie, Terminator Salvation is a good movie. As a Terminator movie it is not. The film doesn't feel like the last three. It just used the characters that James Cameron created over 20 years ago and forgets everything and they just do whatever they want with them. The story doesn't fit the time line already created. It has no suspense. The story isn't original. All it is is special effects and explosions, which are great, but you need the story to make it good.

The one thing the filmmakers did right was to use "real" terminators and not CGI ones. The large machines were CGI, which I expected from the beginning, but not the small ones. The CGI ones looked great, but the one that captured and held the humans looked just like a Transformer. The visuals of the film were the best part of it, but what has Stan Winston done that hasn't been amazing.

The film is about Marcus Wright, a man who wakes up not knowing were he is or what happened to the world. He runs into a young Kyle Reese who is looking for John Connor to join the resistance. The two become buddies and look for Connor together. Along the way Kyle gets captured by the machines which leads Marcus on a journey to save him. He meets Connor who is not yet the leader of the resistance and clash with each other about how to go about reaching both of their goals.

Since seeing the future in the earlier Terminator movies I wanted to see a movie set in this time. I wanted this film to be great, but I was disappointed because so much could have been done and the filmmakers did so little. At this point they should have left T:2 to be the end of the story. With two equals planned, I am scared at what they could do next to ruin the Terminator franchise. The only hope is hire new people to write and direct.

Star Trek

2009-05-12T20:17:00.009-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - J.J. Abrams

Writers - Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman

Starring - Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho & Anton Yelchin

Release Date - 8 May 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Star Trek is a reboot of the Paramount franchise created over 40 years ago by Gene Roddenberry. It takes place before the events in the original series and tells the story of how James Tiberius Kirk became the captain of the USS Enterprise and found the crew that followed his leadership up until Star Trek The Undiscovered Country. It is a story that was never told.

The cool thing about this reboot is that it does not forget everything that has come before like they normally do. With the "simple" use of time travel and the theory of multiple dimensions (Spock explains it) the film exist in both universes. Leonard Nimoy is what bridges them both together.

I can understand why the big fans are upset with the film because of some of the things they did to their precious canon. I don't see why because there hasn't been a really great Trek film sinceFirst Contact. I think Paramount made a good decision for once with putting some fresh faces in charge of Star Trek, and I have nothing against Rick Berman and his people. Would you have rather they started from scratch?

The movie has a perfect pace to it, I wasn't bored with any scene, and it was just the perfect length. The sets were awesome. The way they did the space battle scenes were different than any other Trek film so far. It was funny. The one thing that I could have seen cut was the giant predators on the one planet. Star Trek is definitely a movie to see in the theater and it could be hard for other films to beat this summer.

Here are some funny videos joking about Star Trek and Trekkers from SNL featuring original Enterprise crew members.

2009-05-09

1986-12-20

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-05-07T19:14:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Gavin Hood

Writers - David Benioff & Skip Woods

Starring - Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Taylor Kitsch & Ryan Reynolds

Release Date - 1 May 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the first spin off film from the X-Men Trilogy. The film starts when Logan is just a young boy and discovers his claws about 20 years before the events of the first X-Men film.

The film was a little disappointing to me. I was expecting more of Wolverine going berserk like he does in each of the X-Men films. There is only one short sequence of him in super crazy attack mode. The rest of them is him fighting only one other bad guy. I also thought the beginning was slow up until he gets his adamantium implants. The ending was for the most part predictable and unoriginal.

The one thing about the movie I really liked was how they related the story to the rest of the X-Men universe. From the trailer it seemed like they were just throwing characters in because people liked that character. The film did need more Deadpool/Wade Wilson and not just use him for a small part and to introduce him for his own film.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine could have been a better movie and some better fight scenes. To compare how good it is to the previous X-Men movies, it would be around the level of X-Men: The Last Stand.

Alien Trespass

2009-04-08T18:29:00.011-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - R.W. Goodwin

Writers - James Swift & Steven P. Fisher

Starring - Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird, Robert Patrick, Jody Thompson & Dan Lauria

Release Date - 3 April 09 (limited release)

MPAA Rating - PG

Alien Trespass is a science fiction movie from 1957 that was never released by Goldstone International Pictures because of a contract dispute between the films star M. Eric McCormack and the head of the studio Louis Q. Goldstone. Weeks before its original release date Goldstone ordered all the prints to be destroyed. 50 years later at a construction site on the location of the Goldstone back lot buried deep underground was a metal box containing the trailer, promotional material, and the finished film in perfect condition.

In reality, the film was made last year. Its director R.W. Goodwin's hommage to the movies he loved as a kid. It was made to look like it was made back in the 1950's. It uses all the effects methods of the day, although modern CGI was used for the scenes where the flying saucer was flying. They also follow the Hays Code that Hollywood had to follow until 1968. The main instrument used, like in many old films, on the soundtrack is a theremin. The film does parody the genre, but not nearly to the degree as The Lost Skeleton of Cadavraa.

The film is well written and is funny. The crash site set is very cheesy looking, but that was the point. The dialog is full of 50's slang and it has the stereotypical greaser kid who is looking for trouble whose best friend is the goody two shoes. It has the B movie cliches like rubber monsters, screaming women, the cop who is days from retirement, and many many more, but it is all done very well.

Alien Trespass is takes place over two days in a small California mountain town. A flying saucer crashes and a Ghota escapes in the crash. The alien Urp borrows the human body of Ted Lewis to find and capture the Ghota before it destroys all life on Earth. To make it harder for Urp, the Ghota is capable of chromodynamic distortion (invisibility).

Monsters vs. Aliens

2009-04-01T02:37:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Rob Letterman & Conrad Vernon

Writers - Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky, Rob Letterman, Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger

Voices - Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Kiefer Sutherland, Rainn Wilson, Stephen Colbert & Paul Rudd

Release Date - 27 March 09

MPAA Rating - PG

Monsters Vs. Aliens is the first Dreamworks Animation Studios film to be produced for 3D. All future films will also be made this way as theaters with the digital projection systems are all over the place now and the number continues to grow. Up until this one they were produced in traditional 2D and digitally converted to 3D.

The film is a homage to the monster movies made in the early 1950's. The hero's are a 50 foot tall woman (Ginormica), a giant moth (Insectosaurus), a mad scientist that changed himself into a cockroach (Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D.), a brainless jello goo thing (B.O.B.), and an amphibian mutant (The Missing Link). They are sent to fight off the squidlike alien (Gallaxhar) who comes looking to find the quantonium that fell to Earth from a meteor and since he is here he decides to take over the world.

Monsters Vs. Aliens is funny, it has a few jokes thrown in for the adults like the presidents first contact attempt with the aliens. It is the most action packed animated film since Titan A.E and has the hottest cartoon character since Jessica Rabbit. It is a fast paced fun film for the whole family to have a night out together.

If you plan on seeing this in 3D, try and go to IMAX 3D because its less than a dollar more and the screen is way bigger and the sound system is far superior. It is well worth it.

Knowing

2009-03-23T20:21:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Alex Proyas

Writers - Ryne Douglas Pearson, Juliet Snowden, Stiles White, Stuart Hazeldine, Ryne Douglas Pearson, Alex Proyas & Richard Kelly

Starring - Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne, D.G. Maloney & Lara Robinson

Release Date - 20 March 09

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Knowing is a disaster movie with a twist. It isn't straight forward like Armageddon and The Day After Tomorrow. It actually makes you think about what might happen next and it wasn't easily predictable like most. Some previous trailers for the film made it look like the normal disaster film, which I think turned off the people I saw it with. The film has a lot of mystery along with it, "The Whisperer People" are one example.

The plot follows John and Caleb Koestler. Caleb gets a page of numbers when his schools time capsule is opened. His astrophysicist father figures out the numbers are the date of disasters over the past 50 years and how many lives were lost. The numbers list three events that have not yet occurred.

The plane crash scene was shot beautifully and in one continuous take. It gave me the feeling like I was there with Nicolas Cage. The subway scene was done even better. It is one of the most realistic disaster scenes ever shot. Proyas held nothing back developing the scene.

The people I saw it will did not like the ending. I thought the ending worked very well and can't see an other way it could have ended. This again could have been because of the way the film was marketed early on.

If you go see Knowing, do so with an open mind and expect it to be different. If you don't, you will walk out feeling like my friends did and hate it.

Watchmen

2009-03-09T00:30:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Zack Snyder

Writers - David Hayter & Alex Tse

Starring - Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan & Patrick Wilson

Release Date - 6 March 09

MPAA Rating - R

The long awaited film adaptation of of the "unfilmable" Watchmen is out and it was done brilliantly. Based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons graphic novel that Time named as one of the 100 greatest novels of all time. The story is set in an alternate 1985 at the height of the cold war and Richard Nixon is still the president. Masked heroes have existed since the 1940's , until it became illegal in the 1970's. The film starts with the murder of Edward Blake. Rorschach, a vigilante who doesn't care its illegal, finds out Blake was an ex masked hero that now works for the government who called himself The Comedian. Rorschach believes someone is picking off masked heroes and sets out to warn the other retired masked heroes.

The film is left mostly unchanged from the graphic novel, which is great because endings and settings are almost always changed when adapting a book and its always for the worst. It is being reported that he changed the ending, but the only thing changed was the MacGuffin that makes the ending work. Zac Snyder left out some of the smaller sub plots but filmed them all for DVD (the film would have been over three and a half hours long) but without them the story is complete.

If you read the graphic novel first you will see Easter eggs in a lot of scenes that viewers who didn't read will not notice. This to me shows how much Snyder cared for the source material and didn't just make the movie for the paycheck.

The film is not your normal superhero movie. If you go expecting Spiderman or Superman you are going to hate it. Go in with an open mind and you will enjoy it.

81st Academy Awards

2009-02-23T03:25:00.003-05:00

I know it has been a few weeks since I posted a review. Being busy and February not being a big month for movies made it a bit slow. I do want to see Coraline in 3D, if i get a chance this week I will go, but I hear that that is going to be done this week for the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert (I hope that isn't true).

The 81st Academy Awards were on last night. I only saw a few minutes of it. I am happy they gave best supporting actor to Heath Ledger. To see a list of winners click here! Hugh Jackman's opening was funny too (hopefully they don't take the video off You Tube)!

New reviews coming very soon. Thanks for reading.

Spanky

Taken

2009-02-03T00:24:00.005-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Pierre Morel

Writers - Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen

Starring - Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen & Xander Berkeley

Release Date - 30 January 2009

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Taken is the most recent take on the kidnapping movie. It follows Liam Neeson's character after his daughter is kidnapped in Paris. He plays a retired CIA "preventer" who takes finding his daughter into his own hands.

The film isn't anything original and is predictable at times. It is a good movie for some good old butt kicking, and Neeson is bad ass. The fight scenes reminded me of the Bourne trilogy in the cinematography, and that is not a bad thing. The beginning I felt moved a little slow, but that is because I was looking forward to the butt kicking and didn't care about the character development of the film.

Defiance

2009-01-21T06:58:00.002-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Edward Zwick

Writers - Clayton Frohman & Edward Zwick

Starring - Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell & George MacKay

Release Date - 16 January 09

MPAA Rating - R

Defiance is a film about the Bielski Brothers and their camp during World War Two. It is adapted from Nechama Tec's book "Defiance: The Bielski Partisans". The Bielski's were a Jewish family living in Nazi-occupied Poland. Their parents were killed because they wouldn't go to the ghettos by the local police under the orders of the Nazi. The brothers fled into the forest and find other survivors. Tuvia, the oldest Bielski, becomes the leader. The camp continues to grow as more Jews escape the Germans. The film follows the groups survival in the forest.

The film's trailer makes it look like its about the Jews fighting back against the Nazis like a typical war movie. There are a few battle scenes, but the main focus is the lives of the people living in the forest. The struggles of a cold winter, the sibling rivalry between Tuvia and Zus, antisemitism from the Soviets, starvation, and keeping away from the Germans to stay alive.

It is a very good story. I don't know why it isn't well known, because you don't hear of that much good coming out of World War Two. It wasn't taught to me in high school, I don't know if it was in other high schools.

Defiance doesn't use and fancy cinematography or million dollar digital special effects. It doesn't need too. Its about the people and their lives, not the horrors of war. Showing all that would take away from the story of survival. The only problem I had was the film moves a little slow at times.

Valkyrie

2009-01-19T20:55:00.006-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Bryan Singer

Writers - Christopher McQuarrie & Nathan Alexander

Starring - Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp & Eddie Izzard

Release Date - 25 December 08

MPAA Rating - R

Valkyrie is about the assassination attempt on Adolf Hitler on July 20, 1944. Tom Cruise stars as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, who is a key member of the German Resistance and the man who lead the assassination attempt at the Wolf's Lair. The film starts in Tunisia where Stauffenberg is wounded in battle, then sent back to Germany where he is recruited into the resistance. The film follows how the plot was put together, carried out, and its aftermath.

From what I read, the film is historically accurate, but has a few Hollywood liberties added. Before seeing the film I knew of the assassination plot, but I didn't know the details. I was surprised by a lot of it. The filmmakers also got permission to shot at many of the original locations around Berlin.

Valkyrie is a good film to see if you are into World War II history. It is detailed well about Project Valkyrie, the characters, and the event. If you don't care, then you probably won't like it. It doesn't have loads of battle scenes like Saving Private Ryan, so don't go expecting that. There is action and suspense, just not your typical war movie kind.

Gran Torino

2009-01-04T17:20:00.006-05:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Clint Eastwood

Writers - Nick Schenk & Dave Johannson

Starring - Clint Eastwood, Ahney Her, Bee Vang & Christopher Carley

Release Date - 12 December 08 (limited release) and 9 January 09 (wide release)

MPAA Rating - R

Don't base Gran Torino on the trailer. I didn't want to see it after watching the trailer, but went because my friends wanted to see it. Whoever was in charge of producing the trailer made it seem like a different kind of movie. I was very impressed with the film. It was a lot better then Benjamin Button.

The film is about racism that still exist in America in 2008. It follows Clint Eastwood's character, a Korean War veteran, who is struggling with life after the death of his wife. The fact that his neighborhood is being over run by the Hmung doesn't make him any happier. After the troubled teenage neighbor tries to steal his 1972 Gran Torino, he takes the kid under his supervision to make him a good kid.

The film is full of racial remarks to his neighbors, and sometimes he says it right to them. He says some that I have never heard too. If you don't like racist language, this isn't the film for you. Eastwood's character is one of those cool old men who don't care what people think and does whatever he wants because he wants to do it. He does a great job at it, I wouldn't be surprised if he is nominated for an award for acting or directing.

Gran Torino makes you laugh at times, but it also makes you think. Above all it entertains, and that is why we go to the cinema.

The Spirit

2009-01-03T02:54:00.004-05:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Frank Miller

Writers - Frank Miller

Starring - Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Dan Lauria, Scarlett Johansson & Eva Mendes

Release Date - 25 December 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The Spirit is a fun comic book adaption and nothing more. If you go expecting exactly that you will enjoy it. If you expect an award winning movie, you won't. Its an origin story about how The Spirit came to be the protector of Central City. It is a good starting point for a franchise series for Lionsgate, if they choose to make more.

The film is set in a unique noir-ish world. The cars, buildings, and costumes are very 30's and 40's looking, while there is modern technology like mobile phones, cloning, big guns. Some characters even talk like they are from that era. Its like Frank Miller took one of Will Eisner's stories and just modernized a few little details.

Of all the comic book adaptions that have come out, The Spirit is the most comic book like. Samuel L. Jackson said in a interview that fighting The Spirit was like Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner and that is the perfect comparison.

If you don't think they are reasons to see the film, here are 5 other reasons to see the spirit. Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson, Stana Katic, and Paz Vega.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-01-02T20:55:00.007-05:00

Spanks - 3

Director - David Fincher

Writers - Eric Roth and Robin Swicord

Starring - Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Julia Ormond and Tilda Swinton

Release Date - 25 December 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is an interesting concept for a film, but it didn't live up to the expectations I had for it. The makeup and digital special effects to make Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt look younger and older were brilliant, as was the acting and direction.

A lot happens in the film, but nothing happens. The film starts in 1918 on the eve of the end of World War I and ends in 2005 when hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans. It is narrated by the main character's daughter reading the journal of Benjamin Button to her dieing mother. It goes from the birth of Ben as an old man, to his death as a baby. Ben falls in love, Ben travels the world, people die, Ben comes home, he falls in love again, more people die, he travels again, he comes home, he is a child. If your looking for a climax it never comes. It moves very slowly, it seemed like I was there for longer then the 166 minutes run time.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a thinking film, and it grows on you a little as you think about it more. It is also depressing and sad at times. I think if it were shorter I would have liked it a lot more. If I were you I would wait for the DVD to watch it.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

2008-12-14T20:37:00.005-05:00

Spanks - 1

Director - Scott Derrickson

Writers - David Scarpa

Starring - Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates & Jaden Smith

Release Date - 12 December 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The Day the Earth Stood Still is one of the worst remakes Hollywood ever made. It was even worse than War of the Worlds and Poseidon. It also completely misses the point of what the original was all about... although they tried. The original was about nuclear war, and the people of Earth had to disarm of be destroyed, and you could feel that part of the story. In this version, the humans were destroying the planet so they had to be eliminated because the planet is one of a few that could sustain life and the humans didn't know how to change, but it didn't have that impact on the story. I in no way want to "Go Green" after watching it. I do want to get my green back from 20th Century Fox.

Gort was just a crappy unoriginal made CGI with a eye that moves exactly like a Battlestar Galactica Cylon. As is normal with Hollywood, Gort had to be bigger so they made him the size of Godzilla. They should have left him a really tall guy in a suit, he would have looked more believable and terrifying and not stupid.

The most memorable and important line of the original was just thrown into the remake to mean almost nothing. It isn't even noticeable. I had to find out where it happened on the IMDB message boards, because I missed it, and I was wasn't making fun of the film yet.

The film even had a War of the Worlds like ending. I don't know if they just ran out of money or film or the writer got writers block when writing the final reel.

If you pretend the movie is not a remake, would only make it slightly better (it might have got 2 spanks). If you are interested in seeing The Day the Earth Stood Still, spend 10 dollars to buy the DVD or 4 to rent the original 1951.

Twilight

2008-12-02T00:31:00.004-05:00

Spanks - 2

Director - Catherine Hardwicke

Writers - Melissa Rosenberg

Starring - Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Peter Facinelli & Taylor Lautner

Release Date - 21 November 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Twilight is nothing more than a chick flick that happens to have vampires, but a completely boring version of a vampire. The vampires are in no way scary, they can be in the sunlight, they have a reflection, they are pretty much just regular people who can run fast, hit a baseball far, and jump high.

The film follows the story of Bella. A teenage girl who moves from Arizona to live with her dad in a small town in Washington. At school she meets this mysterious boy, Edward Cullen, who keeps to himself and his family. They fall for each other, but they shouldn't be together because he is a vampire, and he has to fight just to not eat her. He doesn't, the Cullen family excepts her, all is going uneventful and boring until about a half hour left in the film when the bad vampires show up. A very little more excitement happens. The end... until the sequel comes out in 2010.

The film has a few laughs, but not good laughs. The acting is comical at times between Edward and Bella. The "running" special effects are terrible, worse then when Clark Kent runs in Superman The Movie 30 years ago. Every time Peter Facinelli came on screen I laughed, because I couldn't get get the image of him as Mike Dexter from Can't Hardly Wait out of my head.

The film moved very slow, and did not keep my attention. I looked at my cell phone clock at one point to see how much time was left, and I never do that. All of my girl friends who have seen it have loved it and some have gone and seen it more then once. If your female, you will enjoy this film, but if your the boyfriend hang out with the guys that night.

Role Models

2008-11-23T16:54:00.004-05:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - David Wain

Writers - Paul Rudd, David Wain, Ken Marino & Timothy Dowling

Starring - Seann William Scott, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bobb'e J. Thompson, Jane Lynch & Elizabeth Banks

Release Date - 7 November 2008

MPAA Rating - R

The Role Models trailer is not an accurate portrayal of the film. The trailer made the film look dumb. That is completely wrong. It is a prime example of bad marketing. The film was very funny. I was laughing the whole entire movie. The film is about two guys, Danny and Wheeler, who work for an energy drink company who drive around promoting it at schools. They get arrested and are given the choice of 30 days in jail or 150 hours working in a Big Brother program called Sturdy Wings. They are given the two worst kids in the program and if they can not complete the hours they go to jail.

Bobb'e J. Thompson who plays Ronnie steals the show whenever he is on screen. Jane Lynch, who played the store manager in The 40 Year Old Virgin, is the ex-con who runs the Big Brother program is one of the strangest (but hysterical) characters in a film in a long time.

To warn you, there is lots of bad language in the film, more than Zack and Miri. That does not take away from all the laughs. Role Models is a movie to watch when you just want to laugh and laugh a lot.

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-17T00:11:00.001-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Marc Forster

Writers - Paul Haggis, Neal Purvis & Robert Wade

Starring - Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Judi Dench & Giancarlo Giannini

Release Date - 14 November 2008

MPAA Rating - PG

Quantum of Solace is the 22nd official James Bond film. It takes place immediately following the events in Casino Royale. Bond captures Mr. White and during his interrogation he escapes with the help of a traitor (who was M's bodyguard). Bond and M learn very little of the organization Quantum and using forensics from the traitor starts Bond's hunt to find out more about Quantum and to bring them down.

The film runs like a Bond film. He has no regard to public property, he doesn't give up, he doesn't follow orders, he uses his license to kill often and he gets the girls. I heard people saying that it didn't feel like a Bond film and it was just a spy thriller, but it felt very Bond to me.

The visual effects are still real and not 100 percent CGI. Some of the action sequences were similar to each other, which I didn't like and the one in Haiti was cut to quickly to tell what was happening, but those were the only 2 small problems I had with the action.

The film has nothing new and groundbreaking in the film making techniques, but who cares, not all movies need to be. It is a very fun film to watch, and very much worth seeing. It made me wish I was as awesome as James Bond. It is the best action film since Hellboy 2 and The Dark Knight and I can't think of any that will be this good until next summer.

Bolt

2008-11-16T18:45:00.006-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Chris Williams and Byron Howard

Writers - Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams

Voices - John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton & Malcolm McDowell

Release Date - 21 November 2008

MPAA Rating - PG

I saw the sneak preview of Bolt, and Disney Animation is getting back to what they used to be. They have had a lot of unmemorable animated films since the Lion King in 1994, but Bolt and 2007's Meet the Robinsons have given me faith in them once again. Bolt is being released in traditional theaters and in Digital Real D stereoscopic 3D. I saw it in 3D, and it you have a theater with a digital projector you should see it in 3D as well. I am sure it will be just as good in a regular theater unlike Journey to the Center of the Earth.

The film is about a television show dog named Bolt who has lived on set his whole life and believes he has the superpowers from the show. Bolt's world gets turned around when he accidentally gets shipped to New York City. He doesn't understand what is happening and kidnaps a cat called Mittens because he believes she is working with Dr. Calico (Bolt's nemeses) and she can lead him back to Penny (Bolt's human) in Hollywood.

The film is great for any age. The theater had people from as little kids to grandparents. It is very funny, everyone in the theater was laughing. Rhino, the hamster who joins the adventure, steals the show. As any animated feature it is easily predictable, but that does not take away from the entertainment or ruin the film.

My Name Is Bruce

2008-11-03T16:05:00.003-05:00

Spanks - 4.5

Director - Bruce Campbell

Writers - Mark Verheiden

Starring - Bruce Campbell, Grace Thorsen, Taylor Sharpe and Ted Raimi

Release Date - 31 October 2008 (Limited Release)

MPAA Rating - R

My Name is Bruce a horror film starring Bruce Campbell as Bruce Campbell, but a loser/alcoholic version of himself. In the town of Gold Luck Oregon, the Chinese god of war Guan-Di (who is also the protector of the dead) is accidentally released by the local teenagers. Guan-Di starts killing the residents and to stop him Jeff (the one who releases Guan-Di) kidnaps Bruce Campbell thinking he can really stop and kill demons like in the Evil Dead movies. Campbell thinks its his birthday present from his agent so he plays along until he realizes Guan-Di is not a guy in a rubber suit.

The film is cheesy in every way to give it the B movie feel. Since Bruce Campbell is "the greatest actor of his generation" and the king of B movies this works. It isn't full of inside jokes that only people who have seen all of Campbell's movies would get, there are a couple. The film will not come close to winning an Academy Award, but its tremendously entertaining and the funniest film to come out since Tropic Thunder. If Army of Darkness is on your list of favorite movies you will love this film. If it isn't, get the DVD's of both films, because they are awesome.

This film is playing at a very limited release. It is playing the Ritz at the Bourse in Philadelphia and Sunshine Cinema in New York City at the time of publication.

RocknRolla

2008-11-03T16:03:00.002-05:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Guy Ritchie

Writers - Guy Ritchie

Starring - Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Thandie Newton, Jeremy Piven & Chris Bridges

Release Date - 31 October 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Rocknrolla is similar to other Guy Richie films. Its characters are gangsters or criminals. It involves drugs, double crosses, heist, guns, torture, and sex. The film is very complex, like Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, but it all comes together at the end and makes sense. It is set in London is about buying real estate to sell for more. All is going well for criminals who are scamming to get rich in real estate, until a "lucky" painting is stolen.

Being very a very complex movie, it is hard to follow at times. Its one of those movies you have to get on DVD when release to watch again, because you are sure to miss something. Don't let this discourage you from seeing it, as it is a well made film and you will enjoy it.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

2008-11-02T14:38:00.004-05:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Kevin Smith

Writers - Kevin Smith

Starring - Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes, Traci Lords, Jeff Anderson and Katie Morgan

Release Date - 31 October 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Zack and Miri Make a Porno is the second film by Kevin Smith that takes place out of the Jay and Silent Bob universe (known as the View Askewniverse). Zack and Miri are high school friend who share an apartment, but do not make enough money to pay the bills. After their electricity and water gets shut off and a conversation with someone at the 10 year high school reunion, they decide that if they make a porno they could make enough money to catch up on the bills and not get evicted from the apartment. Do they succeed, I won't tell.

The film follows the rules of a Chick Flick, but with the Kevin Smith twist too it. It isn't nearly as funny as Clerks or Dogma, but way funnier than Jersey Girl (although I would much rather make a porno with Liv Tyler than Elizabeth Banks). The closest comparison would be Chasing Amy.

The film is full of foul language so I wouldn't bring a kid or a grandmom to see this. Just come with your girlfriend or wife, and you will have a good time. The film is hysterical. I did laugh the whole time, as did the everyone in the full theater. There are great cameos from Justin Long, Jim Norton, and Brandon Routh. Stay for the credits, there is a very funny scene put in there.

W.

2008-10-19T19:44:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 2.5

Director - Oliver Stone

Writers - Stanley Weiser

Starring - Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Richard Dreyfuss, Scott Glenn & Elizabeth Banks

Release Date - 17 October 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The film W. is not a comedy like the trailer makes it out to be. It is funny just because when George W. Bush talks, it is funny. The film is a biography of our current president, and is the first to be made of a sitting president. The film takes the viewer there Bush's life from college (undergraduate) until "the end" of the Iraq War (2004).

The casting of the film was perfect. Everyone looked almost exactly like the person they were portraying, and got the accents down too. Thandie Newton who played Condoleezza Rice was the best of the supporting cast. Josh Brolin could be Bush if you were not paying attention to what you were seeing or hearing.

The film is very interesting. I learned a lot about our president. I didn't know he didn't want to go into politics when he was young, or that he was that big of a slacker or that Colin Powell was completely against the Iraq War and fought with him to not invade. It was very slow and boring at parts. There was one scene in the middle that was so slow that i nodded off for a couple minutes. It is definitely worth watching, just not at the theater for at least 7 bucks.

Eagle Eye

2008-10-16T00:30:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 1.5

Director - D.J. Caruso

Writers - John Glenn, Travis Wright, Hillary Seitz & Dan McDermott

Starring - Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson, Michael Chiklis, Ethan Embry & Billy Bob Thornton

Release Date - 26 September 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Eagle Eye was not a good movie. Do not spend your money to see it. It was unoriginal and about an hour to long (the run time was 118 minutes). If you want good chase scenes watch The Rock or The Dark Knight. If you want a fun cyber terrorism movie just watch Live Free or Die Hard. If you want to see Michelle Monaghan looking hot watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Get Panic Room or Usual Suspect for a great thriller.

The film is about two people who meet because they got mysterious phone calls from an unknown lady. The lady has the ability to hack into all electronic equipment to minipulate what she wants so she can get Jerry Shaw and Rachel Holloman where she needs them. It turns out that it is a computer that is gone bad and needs both Jerry and Rachel to carry out her operation.

The one thing I was wishing the whole film was for the evil computer to hack the film projector and shut it off.

Religulous

2008-10-05T16:25:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Larry Charles

Writers - Bill Maher

Starring - Bill Maher

Release Date - 3 October 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Religulous is a documentary about religion directed by the guy who did Borat and starring the guy from Politically Incorrect. It discuses how religion is "old", "wrong", "stupid", and "fake". It is very one sided, Bill Maher doesn't try at all to believe anything anyone of his interviewees are saying. He interviews people from Christian, Jewish, and Muslim groups, all from the groups that are way off the wall. A Puerto Rician minister who says he is the second coming of Jesus, a Jewish rabbi who is against the nation of Isreal and believes the Holocaust isn't real, and a guy from the Cannabis Ministry in Amsterdam to give you a couple of examples. It also has a good segment about how religion and war are tied together.

The film is very funny, but doesn't come close to Borat. Some of the funniest parts are when they cut away from the interview to a video to go against what they are saying. It is also funny when Bill Maher ask a question they don't have a pre-scripted answer for and just look dumbfounded at him. I will say he is very mean to his interviewees too, but he is usually mean to the guest on his show, so its nothing new for Bill Maher.

The documentary, although completely biased (but name me one that isn't), was very interesting. If you are religious you will most likely hate this movie. If you have an open mind you might like it.

Traitor

2008-09-26T16:50:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 2

Director - Jeffrey Nachmanoff

Writers - Jeffrey Nachmanoff & Steve Martin

Starring - Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Saïd Taghmaoui, Neal McDonough and Jeff Daniels

Release Date - 27 August 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Traitor tells the story of a fictional Islamic terrorist group plotting attacks on the United States with the help of American Samir Horn who was previously in the armed forces. Getting in Samir's way is FBI agent Roy Clayton. The film follows Samir across three continents to complete his mission with agent Clayton on his trail.

I went into this film not know what it was about or what to expect. It was very interesting and suspenseful. I kept wanting to know what was going to happen next. There were a few times in the movie where I never expected what was going to happen next. It also gives you the terrorist point of view, and not the terrorist side from the good guys point of view, which doesn't happen often in Hollywood. I was expecting and hoping for an unexpected Arlington Road like ending, unfortunately that ending never came. It had the ending I didn't want to happen when the Future Mrs. Spanky suggested it.

Burn After Reading

2008-09-14T14:03:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Ethan Coen & Joel Coen

Writers - Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Starring - George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich & Tilda Swinton

Release Date - 12 September 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Burn After Reading is not what I thought it was going to be from the trailer. The trailer made it seem like it was going to be more of a comedy like the Big Lebowski, but in reality it was a Coen Brothers movie that had a few really good laughs.

The film is about blackmail, online dating, national secrets, affairs, and physical fitness. John Malkovich plays a CIA analyst who quits his job, Tilda Swinton is his wife, George Clooney is a agent for the treasury department, and Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand work for the gym Hardbodies. They film follows how their lives are intertwined over the course of a few days, which happens because of Malkovich quitting his job at the CIA.

My only problem with Burn After Reading was it was slow getting started. Once everything was in place the movie felt like it just started. The film does a great job of keeping you thinking what will happen next, which you will probably guess wrong every time... I did. If you do go see it, pay attention because its one of those movies where you can miss something very easily and you will want to see again when it is released on DVD.

The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

2008-08-27T21:24:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 1.5

Director - Rob Cohen

Writers - Alfred Gough & Miles Millar

Starring - Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, John Hannah, Michelle Yeoh & Luke Ford

Release Date - 1 August 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The running gag in The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is the main characters saying "I Hate Mummies", I say "I Hate Rob Cohen (the director of the cinematic masterpiece The Fast and the Furious, xXx, and Stealth)". I have only seen the first Mummy movie and that is Citizen Kane compared to this new one. Imhotep was a much better villain, the special effects were much better, Maria Bello was miscast, and this new story was stupid.

I am fully against recasting of characters, and this is a perfect example of why. Bello couldn't do a British accent for one and she didn't fit in the character at all. She doesn't even look smart and archaeologist like. They could have at least recast Evelyn with a British actress since they weren't smart enough to write her out. Emperor Han was your stereotypical one dimensional bad guy who just wants to take over the Earth and rule it with total power. At least Imhotep was after his girl that was killed when he was cursed before he was mummified. Remember the beatles that would craw under your skin and eat you from the inside out from the first? This sequel had nothing even close to scare you with... just Yeti.

The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor is about Emperor Han who in ancient China was in the process of becoming emperor of the world when he was betrayed by a which and turned to stone. In 1948 he is awaken with the help of Brandon Fraser's son. Han then must find Shangra-La to restore his powers and take over the world. Brendon Fraser happens to be in the right place at the right time to save the world from a mummy for the third time.

The story is totally ridiculous and totally unoriginal. Three times in the film the protagonist say that if Han gets past them here then he will be unstoppable. That can work saying once, but no more. What I remember of the first, it was a serious action movie, but this seemed to be an children's action movie with the jokes, dialog, and Yeti. The comic relief in the first film was Evelyn's brother Johnathan, in this they tried to make each character be funny. That failed miserably because it was something written to be funny to a 12 year old (the 12 year old in the theater sitting next to me laughed at all these jokes).

Tropic Thunder

2008-08-19T20:17:00.007-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Ben Stiller

Writers - Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux & Etan Cohen

Starring - Robert Downey Jr., Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson & Steve Coogan

Release Date - 13 August 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Tropic Thunder is a great film. Don't listen to the protesters, they don't know what they are talking about. You would think people would be more upset from Robert Downey Jr in blackface than the use of the work "retard". Just so you know, they do not use "retard" to describe someone who is mentally challenged (that I could understand protesting a little). Ben Stiller's character in the film, Tugg Speedman, stars in a movie called Simple Jack prior to starring in the war epic Tropic Thunder. He takes the role of a mentally challanged man because he thinks it is a guaranteed Oscar like Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman, and Billy Bob Thornton have done for roles in the past.

The film is a satire of Hollywood. It is not to be taken seriously in anyway. I think it does a good job of it too. It is also very funny. All the characters are stereotypical Hollywood-types. Ben Stiller is the action star, Robert Downey Jr. is the professionally trained actor, Jack Black is the drug addict commedian, Steve Coogan is the first time director looking to make a name for himself, and Brandon T. Jackson is the rapper turned actor (do they sound familiar to you?). The soundtrack is full of the classic rock songs from the 60's that are put in most Vietnam war movies.

Tropic Thunder is the story of making a Vietnam era epic war film based on the book Tropic Thunder by Four Leaf Tayback. After some time behind schedule and over budget, director Damien Cockburn decides to film the movie off the grid and gorilla style.

If you like comedies and war movies then this is truly the movie for you. If you are a fan of just one of those two genres, you will also enjoy it. That is unless you like to protest movies before seeing them because some group of people don't agree with it. If you are one of those people please read here.

Pineapple Express

2008-08-14T18:49:00.004-04:00

Spanks - 2

Director - David Gordon Green

Writers - Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg & Judd Apatow

Starring - Seth Rogen, James Franco, Gary Cole, Rosie Perez & Ed Begley Jr.

Release Date - 6 August 2008

MPAA Rating - R

On the top Pineapple Express is a movie about smoking week. Deep down it is really about friendship. The film follows Dale (Seth Rogen) who is a process server who smokes pot all the time. He gets a new kind of marijuana called pineapple express, who he is the only dealer in town with it, from his dealer Saul (James Franco). Later that day Dale goes to serve Ted Jones (Gary Cole). Before serving Ted, he smokes up, and while in his car he witnesses a murder in Ted's house by Ted and a lady cop (Rosie Perez). The movie then follows Dale and Saul on the run from Ted and the lady cop all the while building a friendship between dealer and buyer.

The film is funny and has some great scenes, but it is a slow movie. A lot happens, but the flow of the film is slow. It should have been 20 minutes shorter. James Franco's has the best character, and he plays a great stoner. He would remind you of your stoner friend from high school.

Even though it is a comedy it has 2 good action sequences. They are nothing breathtaking, but original in its own way. A police chase with the drivers right foot stuck in the windshield is one example. Maybe Seth Rogen is is practicing for The Green Hornet.

If you are going to go spend 9 dollars to see a comedy, see something else. Although Pineapple Express is funny there are funnier and better movies you can go see worth 9 dollars. If you want a good marijuana movie, just see Half Baked or Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke.

Step Brothers

2008-08-08T11:58:00.003-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Adam McKay

Writers - Will Ferrell, Adam McKay & John C. Reilly

Starring - Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen & Richard Jenkins

Release Date - 25 July 2008

MPAA Rating - R

Step Brothers is a hysterical film. I laughed from start of the first reel to the end of the last. Its like Talladega Nights but a thousand times funnier. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are great together. You might be skeptical after watching the trailer for the first time. I was. I thought, it doesn't look that funny... but it is.

The film is about to 40 year old guys who just meet and become step brothers because their parents get married. However, they are not your normal 40 year old guys. Remember how you and your siblings acted towards each other and with each other when you were 11 years old. That is Ferrell and Reilly in this movie. Because of their parents getting married they are forced to grow up, get jobs, and apartments.

I think this is going to be the most quoted movie of the summer. "You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!" and many more you will hear in the streets that are not PG rated like that one.

If your looking for a smart comedy like Stranger Than Fiction, this one is not a good choice. But if you want fart, poop, and funny childish things like that in your comedy, this movie is for you.

*The song in the trailer is called "North American Scum" by LCD Soundsystem"

Meet Dave

2008-07-29T17:28:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 0

Director - Brian Robbins

Writers - Rob Greenberg & Bill Corbett

Starring - Eddie Murphy, Elizabeth Banks, Gabrielle Union, Scott Caan & Ed Helms

Release Date - 11 July 2008

MPAA Rating - PG

Do not go see Meet Dave! I am sure it is as bad as Norbit, if not worse, but I couldn't tell you for sure because I didn't see that classic piece of cinema (Brian Robbins directed Norbit as well). I don't have any idea why Eddie Murphy continues to make such terrible movies, I don't think he has had anything good since Beverly Hills Cop 3 in 1994. Its obvious that family themed movies haven't worked for the past 14 years, but he continues to make them.

Meet Dave is about a group of aliens who come to Earth in a spaceship that looks like a Human. This works because the inhabitants of the planet Nil are only one inch tall. They come to Earth to search for a rock that was sent a few weeks before to drain the Earths oceans for salt because of an energy crisis on the home planet.

The film tries to be funny. I will admit that I did laugh 2 or 3 times. The reason I say tries to be funny is because it uses jokes that have been used over and over again in the 71 years since feature length talkies have been around. The most original part of the movie was when I walked out...

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

2008-07-29T17:24:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Guillermo del Toro

Writers - Guillermo del Toro & Mike Mignola

Starring - Ron Perlman, Selma Blair & Doug Jones

Release Date - 11 July 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is based on an original story written by del Toro and Hellboy's creator Mike Mignola, so if you have all the comics be prepared for something all new. The story is about Prince Nuada wanting to find the Golden Army (an unstopable army 70 times 70 soldiers) and break the truce between the Humans and Elves. Meanwhile back at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, things are going as normal as can be for Hellboy, Abe Sapien, and Liz Sherman. That is until they find out that Prince Nuada is plotting to destroy humanity.

The film has a more fantasy then the first which makes the visuals a lot more stunning. The first film took place all in our world so it looks more real. Del Toro uses makeup and puppets to create his creatures as much as he possible so its not like most movies where you can tell that the main character is talking to a tennis ball which will become something fantastic and most likely fake looking in post production. From what I have seen of Pan's Labyrinth this is a big step up from what he did visually in that. I can't wait to see what his Middle Earth will be like in two years.

It is also a lot deeper of a movie then the first. It deals more with Hellboy's many internal struggles, Liz and Abe's feeling, and FBI director Tom Manning overall problem's with Hellboy. It is also a very funny movie, and not just because I saw it after Meet Dave.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-23T22:24:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 5

Director - Christopher Nolan

Writers - Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer

Starring - Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, & Maggie Gyllenhaal

Release Date - 18 July 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

You might be thinking The Dark Knight to be another comic book movie, in the age of comic book summer movies blockbusters. It is much more than that. Unlike the Batman films of the 20th century, Christopher Nolan made his Batman world very real looking and nothing looks comicy. The film is the film of the summer if not 2008, comic book movie or not. If you go see one movie this summer it should be this one. If you didn't like Batman Begins because it cut between 4 different time periods, you don't have to worry because this one is linear from start to finish.

People say its doing so well is because it is Heath Ledger's final completed film (you will see him next year in Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus) and that is why its doing so well. His performance of The Joker is perfect, much better than Jack Nicholson and before seeing The Dark Knight I did not think that was possible. He is totally psychotic but very funny and likeable (if that is possible). See if for that performance alone if you need a reason to go see a comic book film.

Another thing I love about Christopher Nolan is that everything looks real. That is because it is real. No cheesy computer special effects like you see at some point in all action movies. The truck they flip that you can see in the trailer, they really flipped it. No crappy green screen backgrounds or fake fire or explosions either. He is standing on the top of a skyscraper and they blew up a building.

I wanted to see it in IMAX, but it was sold out until Friday (7/23/08). Hopefully there will be some open shows next week. The reason being is that parts of the film were filmed with an IMAX camera. All the movies that have been on IMAX up until now have been shot on 35mm and blown up to IMAX size.

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

2008-07-14T14:10:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 3

Director - Eric Brevig

Writers - Michael Weiss, Jennifer Flackett, and Mark Levin

Starring - Brendan Fraser, Anita Briem, and Josh Hutcherson

Release Date - 11 July 2008

MPAA Rating - PG

Journey to the Center of the Earth is in 3D but only in selected theaters. The reason being is the theater must have a Dolby Digital Cinema projection system. It uses a technology called RealD, check thier website for a theater near you. Any other theater will be a regular movie projected off of a film print. To give you a heads up, you might have to pay an extra dollar or two to see it in 3D.

Journey to the Center of the Earth is based off the Jules Verne book, but is set in the present and not 1864 when the book was written. There are refrences to those characters in the film. The film stars Brendan Fraser as a volcanologist whose lab is about to lose its funding. His nephew comes to stay with him and is giving some of his dead brothers stuff which includes a copy of the book Journey to the Center of the Earth with various notes written throughout. It leads them to Iceland where they meet Hannah who is thier mountain guide. And so begins their Journey to the Center of the Earth.

If you go see this, do so in 3D, and only in 3D. As a regular movie it is nothing special and wouldn't be worth the 9 dollars. It is a family movie so expect cheesey dialogue and cheesey action sequences, but there are some good action sequences and some funny scenes. Parts of the movie were slow for me and I was more interested in trying to figure out how the 3D works. Visually the film is great, and they created some fantastic visuals and the 3D does enhance this world as things jump off the screen in your face.

You have to keep in mind that this is the first live action movie to use this 3D technology and it can only get better. Over the next few years many films, mostly animated, are going to be in RealD 3D.

Hancock

2008-07-09T21:36:00.001-04:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Peter Berg

Writers - Vincent Ngo, Vince Gilligan

Starring - Will Smith, Charlize Theron, and Jason Bateman

Release Date - 2 July 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Peter Parker's Aunt May said "with great power comes great responsibility"... something that nobody ever told Hancock. Will Smith plays a man who can not be harmed who helps the city of Los Angeles, but with no car for the destruction that occurs from saving the day. He is also an alcoholic who doesn't care what people think of him. One sunny afternoon after stopping an SUV led car chase down a freeway he stops a train that is about to crush a car driven by a publicist called Ray (Jason Bateman) who afterwords decides to fix Hancock's image for saving his life. There is more to it, but I won't saying anything as to not give anything away.

In the time when super-hero movie are the summer blockbusters year after year, Hancock looks at super-heroism from a different view. The view that crosses your mind even though your no supposed too. The damage caused as a result of saving the day. The result is a very funny movie (but not as funny as Get Smart, and I am sure a million times funnier then Meet Dave) filled with super-hero sized battles and special effects (almost as good as The Incredible Hulk, and a million times better than Daredevil). Check it out if your looking for a fun movie that you and your girlfriend who hates super-hero films will enjoy.

Wall*E

2008-07-07T16:07:00.007-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Andrew Stanton

Writer - Andrew Stanton

Voices - John Ratzenberger, Sigourney Weaver, Fred Willard, Jeff Garlin, Ben Burtt, and Elissa Knight

Release Date - 27 June 08

MPAA Rating - G

Wall*E is the third Pixar movie Andrew Stanton has directed and the sixth he has written. I must say it is the most original of all of them. It is also very different then all the movies made now because there is very minimal dialogue throughout the entire film (there is only eight different voices in the entire 98 minute film). It is awesome that Pixar is not afraid to try something different. This is also the first Pixar film that incorporates a live action character.

The film is science fiction with many references to classic sci-fi films, but it is more importantly a love story. Wall*E is the last robot still active whose task is to clean up the Earth while all the humans are on the spaceship Axiom. He develops a personality and starts collecting human idoms includeing a VHS tape of Hello Dolly. He comes in contact with probe EVE and falls for her. EVE completes her directive and is picked up and taken back to the Axiom, but Wall*E won't let her go and follows her back. On the Axiom all the humans are fat and lazy and just watch tv and eat all day with not a care in the world to get back home. EVE's realizes here directive isn't compete when she arives on the ship and with the help of Wall*E works to complete it.

Like all Pixar films it has a deeper message for you to take from it and I take on of them one as just be yourself. If you do not have kids, you will still enjoy the movie, as it is more grown up then the previous Pixar films. I look forward to see what Pixar does next to keep animated movies original and ahead of all the rest.

The short attached to Wall E was the best yet. It is called Presto and its about a magician trying to pull a rabbit out of his hat.

Get Smart

2008-06-28T11:56:00.007-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Peter Segal

Writers - Tom J. Astle, and Matt Ember

Starring - Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin, and Terence Stamp

Release Date - 20 June 08

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Get Smart is the adaptation of the 60's television show created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry. I have not seen the show in many years so I can say if the film stays true to the show. They do use equipment from the show in the film, some updated others are the same. KAOS infiltrates CONTROL and gets the names of its agents and begins killing them all. This makes analyst Maxwell Smart the newest field agent who must find the location of KAOS while the field agents must work as the analyst.

Steve Carell plays Maxwell Smart who continues to be hysterical. Anne Hathaway is Smart's partner Agent 99, who I think should stop playing the romantic roles she has been playing and be in more action movies. I could watch her kick some ass any day. Dwayne Johnson is Agent 23 who is Smart's idol, who I never would have thought he could be a good actor. Get Smart has some big name cameos, James Caan as the president, Bill Murray as Agent 13, and Patrick Warburton.

Before seeing the film I was scared that it might be to much like Johnny English. I am happy to say that it wasn't. Johnny English is more slap stick humor and parody then Get Smart. Get Smart keeps you laughing the entire film, and there hasn't been a movie this summer to really do that and I don't know of any that are coming out that will. Which makes me predict it as the funniest movie of the summer.

A straight to DVD spin-off comes out on July 1st starring Nate Torrence and Masi Oka who are the two guys who create all the spy gadgets for CONTROL.

The Happening

2008-06-24T21:18:00.005-04:00

Spanks - 1.5 or 3

Director - M. Night Shyamalan

Writer - M. Night Shyamalan

Starring - Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, and Ashlyn Sanchez

Release Date - 13 June 08

MPAA Rating - R

When you see an M. Night Shyamalan film you are expecting a unexpected ending. This movie continues to have that. In my opinion, his movies have not had the same greatness as his first three films. This movie is a little different then all his others because it has more comedy.

The film starts off in Central Park on a regular sunny morning. Then all of a sudden people are stabbing themselves and jumping off buildings. The news of a terrorist attack gets to Philadelphia where Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo reside and they decide to leave the city and because it will be safer in the county. The film is then their journey to stay alive from this attack. I won't give say anything else to aviod giving anything away if you choose to see The Happening.

The reason I have the film 2 ratings is for how you look at it. If you look at it as a serious M. Night Shyamalan then its terrible, which is the 1.5. If you look at it as a comedy then it has some funny parts (the 3 rating). I don't know if he was going for laugh out loud funny, but I did. After I saw the movie I read an article on SciFi Weekly where he said he said to the cast and crew at the begining of production 'This is a B movie. Let's get ourselves straight here. This is just a great B movie. We're making the best B movie we can here. That's our job. We're making a B movie. If the themes of the movie have something that stick with you, great. Great. But we're not going to put that in front of the movie. We're going to have a lot of fun. It's a paranoia movie. We just need to pound away. That's our job." I can agree that it could be a B movie...just a well made, high budget B movie. Did anything stick with me? Maybe the guy with the lions or the guy with the lawnmower.

One thing I like about M. Night Shyamalan is that he always shoots his films in and around Philadelpia where they are set and not in Vancover or California where most things are shot and say that it is in Philadelpia.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

2008-06-23T19:52:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 2.5

Director - Dennis Dugan

Writers - Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, Judd Apatow

Starring - Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson, Rob Schneider

Release Date - 6 June 08

MPAA Rating - PG-13

Even though this film is a comedy, it is also shows talks of racism, and how messed up things are in Israel with the Arabs and Israelis. The film does not live up to previous Adam Sandler movies made back in the 90s in laughs. This is, however, his first film I have seen since Mr. Deeds. It was stupid, but funny, but not as funny as Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan follows Zohan Dvir (played by Adam Sandler trying to sound like Borat) who leaves the Israeli Special Forces to move to New York City to work as a hair stylist for Paul Mitchell. He gets thrown out of Paul Mitchell's and goes to work for Dhalia Hakbarah (played by the super hot Emmanuelle Chriqui), the palestinian who owns the salon across the street from his cousins electronics store. Meanwhile Salim Husaamdiyaa (Rob Schneider) has moved to New York and finds out Zohan is there and he calls Zohan's nemesis The Phantom to tell him Zohan is in New York. Then there is Mr. Walbridge, the rich developer who wants to turn the Isreali/Arab community of New York into the first mall with its own roller coaster.

The funniest character in the movie is The Phantom. John Turturro is a great actor who is always plays a secondary character. The film has cameos by Chris Rock, Kevin Nealon, George Takei, Mariah Carey, and John McEnroe to name a few. The films message is peace. Will it come down in history as the movie that united Israel and Palestine? Most likely not, but it will shed some light on the problem in the Middle East to the young followers of Adam Sandler.

The Incredible Hulk

2008-06-16T13:59:00.006-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Louis Leterrier

Writer - Zac Penn

Starring - Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt

Release Date - 13 June 08

MPAA Rating - PG-13

The Incredible Hulk goes above and beyond the 2003 Ang Lee version. There is no neon green hulk, no fights with mutant dogs, and there is an actual villain in this movie. This one doesn't pretend the Ang Lee version never happened, but it also does not continue exactly where that one ended. The Lee film was an origin story and in the Louis Leterrier film the only mention to how Bruce Banner became The Hulk's is during the opening credits.

This film opens with Banner (Ed Norton) on the run from General Ross (William Hurt) in hiding in Brazil trying to find a cure for himself. General Ross wants Banner to test him to create an army of super soldiers. He enlist Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), a decorated member of the United Kingdom Special Forces, to capture Banner.

The Incredible Hulk is influenced by the television show starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno, as Leterrier and Norton are big fans of the show. The film has a similar tone as the show. Ferrigno even does the voice of The Hulk and Marvel got the rights to "The Lonely Man Theme" which is used over the closing credits.

The effects used to create Hulk are a million times better then the last film. Hulk and Abomination look more real. They are given colors that are more natural that would fit in nature. They did not over due the special effects and use all green screens during the fight sequences, they were shot on location. During production 4 blocks of Toronto were shut down and made to look like New York City for the confrontation between Abomination and The Hulk.

The film, like Iron Man, has many references to other characters in the Marvel universe and to future planned movies. Tony Stark even has a cameo!

You can take your girlfriend too because it is also a love story between Banner and Betty Ross (Liv Tyler). Now you don't have a reason not to go see The Incredible Hulk.

There is nothing at the end of the credits like in Iron Man. You don't have to watch them if you don't want to.

Sex and the City

2008-06-01T22:51:00.006-04:00

This review was written by The Future Mrs. Spanky. All opinions and thoughts are from her and not Spanky.
Spanks – 5

Director – Michael Patrick King

Writer – Michael Patrick King

Starring – Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Jennifer Hudson, and Chris North

Release Date – May 30, 2008

MPAA Rating - R

As a fan of the HBO show I would say if you like the show, you'll definitely like the movie. Even if you've never seen the show before, it's a great movie to put on your heals and take your girlfriends to see for a fun night out!
It picks up three years after the series ended. I don't want to give anything away but a lot happens in the movie. I felt like I watched a whole season in 2 1/2 hours. There were some really sad parts in it but it also had some really funny parts just like the show always did. And it was really sweet to see that they were all still good friends that stuck together no matter what. I'm sure you heard about the new girlfriend in the movie, Jennifer Hudson. I loved her character. She was really sweet and she fit right in with Carrie.
I wouldn't suggest taking your mom to see it because there's a lot of sex scenes (more than I expected at least). I also wouldn't make my boyfriend see this one. But go see it! I promise you'll love it and feel really good when it ends!

Son Of Rambow

2008-05-28T17:16:00.003-04:00

Spanks – 4.5

Director – Garth Jennings

Writer – Garth Jennings

Starring – Will Poulter, Jessica Stevenson, Mill Milner, Neil Dudgeon

Release Date – May 2, 2008 (Limited)

MPAA Rating - PG-13

If my family owned a camcorder when I was a kid, I bet it would have been something like Son Of Rambow. It is directed by Garth Jennings, who previously directed the smash hit Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (although Touchstone Pictures might disagree with the smash hit part). The cast is unknown here in America. You might know Jessica Stevenson if you have seen Shaun of the Dead and the show Spaced. I gave the film 4.5 spanks only because the film is on limited release so it might not be playing in a theater near you. If it is, go see it!

Son of Rambow tells the story of two unlikely elementary school aged kids who are making a movie. Lee Carter is the school troublemaker who is uses his older brothers camcorder to make a movie to submit to Screen Test. He meets Will at school and makes him be the stunt man in his film. Will is a member of the Plymouth Brethren religion, which its members are not aloud to watch TV and films, listen to music, or interact with people outside the religion. Will's wild imagination lays unused before he meets Lee Carter and is shown is first film...Rambo: First Blood. From that moment on Will imagination is set free and becomes the Son of Rambow. Friendships are forged and tested throughout the process of completing the film.

Even thought is film is under the radar and didn't cost hundreds of millions of dollars, it will be one of the best movies of the summer. It has everything the blockbusters have except for one thing...originality.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-05-28T15:15:00.008-04:00

Spanks – 3.5

Director – Steven Spielberg

Writers – David Koepp (Screenplay), George Lucas (Story)

Starring – Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf, John Hurt, and Ray Winstone

Release Date – May 22, 2008

MPAA Rating - PG-13

I would have given Indiana Jones a higher rating if it wasn't for the ending. Don't worry I won't give it away. If you take the ending away, the movie could have been at least a 4, but because George Lucas is a freakin idiot it scores less. If anybody knows Mr. Lucas tell him to stop making films because he has ruined everything that he made that was awesome between 1977 and 1989 (the new Star Wars Trilogy anybody).

If you take away the last 5 minutes it an Indiana Jones adventure movie like the last 3. I thought the Nazis were better bad guys then the Soviets, but they were not around in 1957 so it would be hard to write them into this one...not that that would matter in this movie (see the ending). The movie starts with Indiana Jones getting kidnapped by Irina Spalko (Kate Blanchett) and the Soviets to break into a US Army base to find an artifact that would help with Spalko's research in mind control. The search for the Crystal Skull begins. John Hurts plays a great charachter who is crazy, Shia LaBeouf plays his character pretty much the same way as Sam Wickwicki in Transformers and Kale in Disturbia, and Karen Allen returns as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I am really glad they kept everything real and didn't George Lucas it with computer generated everything. The computer generated images were for the most part used to fill the background and to enhance the scene and not the entire scene except for Obiwan Kenobi. The scene with the ants was obviously computer generated because the best animal wrangler in the world couldn't teach killer ants, but the Tarzan homage scene was absolutely rediculus.

It might seem that I didn't like the movie because of my complains about some parts, but it is really entertaining film from start til the last 5 minutes. If you enjoyed Raiders, Temple of Doom, and Last Crusade you will enjoy Crystal Skull.

National Lampoon Presents: RoboDoc

2008-05-15T19:28:00.007-04:00

Spanks – 5

Director – Stephen Maddocks

Writers – Doug and Scott Gordon M.D.

Starring – Alan Thicke, David Faustino, Corin Nemec, Michael Winslow, and Will Haze

Release Date – World Premiere 10 May 08 (in theatres summer 2008)

MPAA Rating - R

I was lucky enough to be one of the first to see RoboDoc last Saturday in Orlando. Let me tell you this movie is hysterical. The entire theatre was laughing from the first reel to the last. The film is being distributed by National Lampoon, the same company that made you laugh in Animal House and Christmas Vacation. The film is a spoof on the way health care is provided in America and who better to write a film about this then two practicing doctors.

The stories antagonist is Attorney Jake Gorman who spends his days getting rich suing doctors for malpractice. To stop lawyers like Jake Gorman R.I.P Healthcare hires Jason Dockery ( David Faustino ) to build “Medical Device 63”, who the nurses named RoboDoc. The film then tells of how the staff including Chief of staff Dr. Roskin ( Alan Thicke ) of North Mercy Hospital adjust to having a robot doctor who can do diagnose and work on any medical problem. Every film needs a major conflict, we have Lawyer Jake Gorman who vows to find a way to successfully sue
RoboDoc.

Hopefully the politicians will go see this and realize the problem with American health-care and then fix it. When you go see the film you'll laugh but it will open your eyes to the crumbling health care industry.

Iron Man

2008-05-07T13:52:00.008-04:00

Spanks - 4

Director - Jon Favreau

Writers - Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby and Art Marcum & Matt Holloway

Starring - Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow

Release Date - 2 May 08

MPAA Rating - PG-13

I saw Iron Man on the advanced screening last Thursday. To tell you the truth I wasn't expecting it to be that good...Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man? In reality he was perfectly cast as Tony Stark who becomes Iron Man. It was directed by Jon Favreau who previously brought us Elf and wrote and starred in Swingers. Gwyneth Paltrow looked hot like she normally does and I didn't know before walking into the theater that Jeff "The Dude" Bridges played Tony Starks right hand man Obadiah Stane.

The story tells the origins of Iron Man and the first of 12 movies Marvel Studios has planned to produce by themselves, which will let them have its characters appear in each others films (Tony Stark appears in The Incredible Hulk next month). It lays the ground work for the upcoming Avengers movie in 2001. The film is not loaded with unnecessary special effects and it has just enough action through out to keep the story exciting (but not Micheal Bay exciting). A good origin film to compare it to would be the first X-Men that Bryan Singer did. Stay and watch all the credits too, a nice surprise awaits you at the end.

If you enjoyed the Spiderman, Superman, X-Men, and Batman (excluding Joel Schumacher's) movies you will definitely enjoy Iron Man. If you haven't seen it yet, you probably are not going to go see it in theaters, but definitely check it out when it comes out on DVD. However, it is a good visual movie that the big screen helps project that a TV will not.

The soundtrack is good too. Its not your typical orchestrated film score. Ramin Djawadi did the score. Its like a rock orchestra. Very Cool!

*I have no problems with Micheal Bay. He makes very entertaining films.

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

2008-05-07T10:15:00.008-04:00

Spanks - 3.5

Director - Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

Writer - Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

Starring - John Cho, Kal Penn, Rob Corddry, Roger Bart, and Neil Patrick Harris

Release Date - 25 Apr 08

MPAA Rating - R

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay is the sequal to arold and Kumar go to White Castle and it takes place immediately following the events of the first. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay could be taken as a political and cultural satire as it shows how our country is with race, patriotism and terrorism (especially Rob Corddry's character)... but will be looked at as just a stupid movie about nothing but weed, farts, sex and lots of foul language. I thought it was much better and funnier then Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

The two anti-heroes get busted trying to sneak a bong onto a plane to Amesterdam and get arrested as terrorist. North Korea and Al Qaeda working together. They get taken to Guantanamo Bay by Homeland Security. They escape before having to eat a cockmeat sandwich and the rest of the film they are fugitives getting chased by Homeland Security as they try to clear their names as terrorist while meeting up with hysterical Neil Patrick Harris again. The official website calls it "a epic journey of deep thoughts, deaper inhaling and a wild trip that is as "un-pc" as it gets."

It was written by the same pair that wrote Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. This time they take the director chairs. If your into movies full of dirty humor then this is your movie, if not then maybe you should go see College Road Trip.

Welcome

2008-05-06T20:26:00.002-04:00

Hello and welcome to Spanky's Movie Review Blog. I was doing this on the myspace blog, but now I am going bigger! So here I am joining the world of The Blog. You can read the old ones here.

I am a huge fan of movies. I go to the cinema as much as possible, and I am a big fan of Netflix. If you were to ask my what my favorite movie would be I would not be able to tell you. I can tell you the last movie I watched at the cinema was Iron Man, on dvd was The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and the last dvd I bought was Terminator 2: Ultimate Edition (I never said anything about them having to be new films).

The idea is to write at least one post a week about the films I have watched, but there is no guarantee that that will happen. I will do new movies, movies from local filmmakers and maybe throw in some old timey classics you may not have thought about in years. The sky is the limit really. Suggestions of movies to watch (and review) are always welcomed. To the cinema I must go!

Thanks for reading!
Spanky